Lawyerlike

Case Rested

2007-04-29T16:41:00.000-07:00

Last post! Except for graduation in three weeks, I have four months without thinking, writing, or agonizing over the law. Thankfully, though we've spent the last three years studying inside the crumbling edifice that is the Curtis Building (but a stellar exemplar for the ins and outs of occupier's liability) we get to graduate in the new, shiny Chan Centre. (The architecture almost seems to give it a halo.)

Thanks to the people that read this site, and I know some friends suggested I keep it going. Frankly, I've simply run out of legal puns. I'll let you know if I post elsewhere in the future, but for now, case, uh, closed.

I can vouch for your user experience

2007-04-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

Some law school purists may have questioned my insistence that films can be an amazing study guide. Well, maybe now film purists can find out the same. Lawyerlike, meet IMDb!

The Hit List links here, but I've also explored this theme before, comparing first year exams to Die Hard, second year exams to the various expressions on Eastwood's face throughout the Man With No Name Trilogy (read: uniformly tough), or generally describing the law school experience as a reflection of the Hogwarts experience.

Of course, I could have compared that time I solved the mystery of the assassinated Supreme Court Judges to The Pelican Brief, but that would have been totally obvious.

L to the L to the B

2007-04-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

It's not a couplet, but it's close. The last sentence I wrote on my Admin final, my last final, summing up a question where I was asked to offer advice on the likelihood of a successful immigration appeal for a Mr. and Mrs. Singh, was not without its own internal rhyme:

"Things aren't looking great for the Singhs."

I'm pretty happy with the 21 pages of answers I wrote before that (yes, the longest exam I've ever written) but I especially like that last line. The cheekiness wasn't intentional, but I think it nicely represents my attitude towards law school: there's a lot of stuff to learn, but there's always room for a sense of humour.

Alright, maybe you wouldn't deliver a client bad news this way, but if writing three years worth of posts on this site has taught me anything, law school has some pretty funny moments.

Anyway, I'm officially done. Now all that's left is to recoup this staggering, staggering debt.

Era nearly ended

2007-04-25T16:10:00.000-07:00

Here it is, my last post written as a law student. Tomorrow at 9 am is the final showdown, and then by noon it's pencils down for law school. Don't worry, I'll do at least one more post updating how Admin went (or didn't). After that, I'm out.

Again, I won't be deleting this site, not just because I sincerely hope it might entertain current or future law students, but also because deleted Blogger accounts aren't really deleted, instead often maliciously exploited by some automated porn bot, as some of my friends and former law school bloggers have discovered.

By way of wrapping things up, this blog owes a big thanks to my hermano for all the design. I know some HTML, but not enough to account for all the nice touches on this page. I do, however, take credit for the title design, which, in case you were wondering, is a combination of 3 things:

+ +

the edifice of Versailles (representing my love for all things French) + the blood-red sky from From Hell (on account of its cool nature) + the crenellated Impact font from my favorite vintage-style print (also French, and also cool).

Oh, and since I won't be doing further design updates, I'm just going to throw my favorite books and albums in the java app at the right. All I can hope is that these things are classic enough that they won't look out of place in several years, much in the same way I now seriously regret buying all those Hootie albums.

Wish me luck on Admin!

The Boy Who Sued

2007-04-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm graduating from law school this week, but more importantly, this is the end of 7 straight years of post-secondary school for myself. Unlike many of my friends in law, I went straight through: from high school to undergrad to law. I don't think there's any distinct advantage or disadvantage to doing so, the only practical difference being which generation of Law & Order cast members we identify with.

It's not lost on me that the end of my 7-year journey corresponds nicely with that of another schoolboy. I think you know who I'm talking about: we've both studied in ancient English castles, we both speak dying languages (my French to Harry's Snake-tongue) and we both narrowly survived the fatal curse of an ancient dark lord - oh, have I not mentioned that on this blog before?

Of course, I'm don't share an entirely similar situation with that of an entirely fictitious British adolescent. I have degrees in English, Economics and Law, whereas the extent of Harry Potter's education ends at grade 5, just after long division but far before algebra or basic world history. Harry is British whereas I can only fake my Cockney accent (but fairly well, I might add). And Harry prefers harsh, magical retribution, while I have a tendency to over-prescribe criminal punishments on exam questions. (Maybe that last one isn't really so different.)

Nevertheless, it's the similarities which allow me to speculate on what will happen at the end of Harry's Hogwarts career. Many people think he will die, just as people suppose that law students will kill off any last vestiges of childlike wonderment for a lifetime of hard-nosed (no pun intended, Voldemort) frugality.

No, and - although I won't be vindicated until the July release of the last novel - it's my firm belief that Harry will graduate and come to several key realizations: this magic nonsense does not hold up in court, and a simple charge of attempted murder is far more industrious than brewing any number of fakakta spells to, what, kill an old bald dude? Trust me, there's an easier way to battle guys in robes - it's called the legal system.

The tickets may be overpriced

2007-04-23T00:05:00.000-07:00

I realize some readers of this site may be just entering law, and thinking ahead to the next few years. If the notion of first year isn't daunting enough, there are still two more long years ahead. So, to help make sense of it all, I've compiled this, one of my last pieces of wisdom on law school, in the only form I know how: tenuous, filmic comparisons.

If First Year Law were a movie, it would be:

Mission: Impossible

Apt title aside, the key theme here is, "what the hell is going on?" Whether or not you're honest enough to admit it, no one knew what happened the first time they watched this movie. In fact, you could swap Henry Czerny's first appearance in the restaurant in Prague with a lecture on real property liens and you'd be none the wiser.

Like the movie, there's definitely a sense of progression to be felt, but without a whole lot of context. And the relatively late emergence of Jon Voigt as villain has the same surprise as 100% final exams. True to the movie, by the end of it all, things are moving really fast and you're likely to witness some explosions.

If Second Year Law were a movie, it would be:

Scarface

Just like Tony Montana, second year is all about rising to the top. You're likely to find yourself propelled by a strong boost in confidence, which is good, because there are serious employment opportunities on the line. But just like Tony's insistence on surveillance, there's also an overwhelming sense of insecurity.

You've made it through so far by relying on your peers - the Manny Riberas of graduate study if you will - but you have to wonder, are they stealing from you? And do not get high on your own supply of CANs. Share them. (I'm not going to attempt a metaphor for the whole Tony/Gina brother/sister love thing, that still weirds me out in the film.)

If Third Year Law were a movie, it would be:

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Director's Cut)

Just throw the damn ring in the volcano already! Face it, you never read the books, but you still want to see how it all ends. Do you realize that at over 3 hours into the movie, Sam and Frodo are still what looks to be 100 miles away from Mount Doom? That persistent sense of far-offishness is what characterizes this year, a concept underscored by the arguable overuse of slow motion shots during the film's denouement.

And that irrepressible Gollum? Why, he's either that nagging truth that you don't have a law job, or that inescapable worry that you somehow might not get hired back after your articling year.

Double-sided Jeopardy

2007-04-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

There's this concept in the law that you can "beat the system." Those who avail themselves of double jeopardy loopholes or statutory limitation provisions are considered lucky for dodging judgment in spite of overwhelming guilt.

I feel like I've beat the system in law school: how? I just printed off my last CAN for Admin Law and my printer still has toner.

I bought this printer 2 years ago, and while it came with a complementary half-supply of laserjet toner, it's been a prevailing fear of mine (seriously) that it would run dry just as I was printing out my last essay or assignment right before it was due. It would have meant scrambling to replace it hours before a deadline, spending a lot of money, and talking to those frightful people at Staples.

Everything in law school was working towards this: printing the roughly ten 25-pages or more essays I've written, the numerous CANs which usually involve at least 40 pages each (in addition to all those times when I messed up double-sided printing and ended up with one-sided/double-layered notes, where reading becomes like spotting those damn 3D images), several drafts of a 45-page screenplay (which, believe it or not, provided the appendix to my Entertainment Law essay) and that regrettable instance where I printed out a high contrast map of downtown Vancouver so I wouldn't get lost on the way to a wine and cheese - only to leave the map at home. (I didn't get lost, but I didn't get an interview either.)

Well, the joke's on you law school, there's still toner left! Also, I'd like my diploma in the highest dpi resolution possible, please.

Section Fore! Subsection Oh!

2007-04-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

With 5 days left till the end of law school, I find it difficult to focus on studying for my last class. At the same time, I'm thinking of things I plan on doing this summer, and the new focus it will require. Such as:

- Reading novels, without isolating facts, relevant issues, holdings, and Denning quotes.
- Going to a friend's wedding, closing my mind to the newfound tax implications of this momentous event.
- Making road trips in my car, acknowledging only the road signs and not the new legal jurisdictions I enter.
- Relaxing on a beach on the Amalfi Coast, selectively considering the wisdom of public nudity laws.
- Touring the Whitechapel area of London, without consulting the Statute of Limitations should I solve the identity of Jack the Ripper.
- Practicing my golf swing, resisting the urge to compare mulligans to de novo appeals.
- Enjoying a zombie movie, without questioning whether the actus reus element of zombie murder is sufficiently made out.
- Practicing my golf swing on zombies... OK, that's definitely some kind of illegal.

Notes for Easy Reference, Space Travel

2007-04-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

For anyone ever wondering what law students take into an exam, here's the answer to the question you actually never asked. These documents were my own personal Rosetta Stone for Secured Transactions Law, which I took in December of second year. I'm a big fan of flowcharts, so I spent a few days whittling 50+ pages of class notes into 4 labyrinthine diagrams, sort of in the same way med students make their flowcharts: Leg Bone > connected to the > Hip Bone > connected to the > Red Thing.

Anyone remember that scene in Contact where they get all the alien schematics and Jodie Foster discovers that they piece together in 3D? Yeah, these flowcharts don't do that, but don't think the possibility never crossed my mind.

A Few Good Exams

2007-04-17T22:31:00.000-07:00

Three exams done, one to go. I know what you're wondering: if my courses were a movie (specifically, the best lawyer movie of all time) then how would my experiences with each final exam correspond to scenes from said movie? I'll tell you.

Entertainment Law:

This one's tough to gauge. It's a paper course, and I've handed in my essay, which I feel strongly about - but there's no real advance measure of how well I've done. So a scene about driving through Guantanamo Bay as the particular focus of trained enemy snipers seemed appropriately descriptive.

Civil Procedure:

In a word, confidence. If you recall, in this scene, Cruise bluffs his opposing counsel into submission by boasting an extensive knowledge of pre-trial procedures and evidentiary motions that can delay a trial seemingly indefinitely: damn if that isn't exactly what I did on this test.

International Trade Law:

I want the truth, if the truth is an A on an exam I'm pretty sure I killed. Self-assuredness is no guarantee, however. Being wrong for Tom Cruise meant treason and death - for law students, being wrong has no effect on the credits you earn. Literally, you cannot flunk out of law school. Seriously.

Administrative Law:

Since I haven't written this one yet, and it scares the hell out of me, this is my best guess.

Name that Nuisance

2007-04-16T16:10:00.000-07:00

Radio stations often have a "name that tune" or even a "name that random sound" contest with lucrative prizes. I never listen to the radio, even in my car, but I confess to playing the latter game simply because my living arrangement makes me a necessary player.

Indeed, my apartment building makes random noises, and late at night when traffic from outside falls to a low din, the contest begins. I have been declared a winner before: it took me months, but I successfully figured out that the brief, echoing, metallic shuffle that occurred at purely random times was in fact the elevator down the hall closing its doors behind portly occupants.

I write about this now because last night, the night before my first exam, we began a new contest. And because it kept me up most of the night, I compiled a list:

Things I have narrowed down the repeating, cyclic, sharp, scraping noise to be:

- The upstairs neighbour printing out a 40+ page document on a circa 1990's dot matrix printer, where the printer is located on a hardwood floor and he can only print between the hours of 2 am and 6 am.
- An alarm clock woefully attempting to mimic the sound of a cat meowing, lodged somewhere in my bedroom wall.
- A cat meowing, lodged somewhere in my bedroom wall, with an acute sense of timing.
- Tiny jet airplanes flying consecutive passes through the concrete parking garage below.
- A radiator comandeered by a loveless couple, constantly fighting between heat and cold, having never heard of the idea of room temperature, or reasonable hours.
- The ghost of Kurt Vonnegut, because I hated Timequake.

F in Cardiology, A in Malpractice

2007-04-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

Exams start tomorrow, so a good luck to all those in law school - again, I'm forced to wonder if there is a med school blog, and if anyone wishes good luck to the test patients instead.

For my own part, I have Civil Procedure, International Trade and Admin Law exams coming up (the latter mercilessly scheduled on the very last day of exams). It's certainly stressful, but in a way it's also not to be exaggerated, because the next time I consult my British Columbia Rules of Court on the deadlines for filing a Statement of Claim, it'll be the real deal.

Mind you, if I ever personally invoke Article XX(b) of GATT, check CNN, I may have just started an international incident.

Enemy of the Candy Industry Association of America

2007-04-13T17:14:00.000-07:00

One possible sign that I've spent too much time studying with my computer: I tried to scroll down a piece of paper today. That's right, while reading the GATT provisions for International Trade Law, I dragged two fingers down the side of a piece of paper out of my coursebook, expecting the list of exceptions to trade barriers to, what, magically rearrange themselves, I guess. Wow.

This stupidity/absent-mindedness is right up there with the time (during the heydey of Napster) when I entered a convenience store and convinced myself to hold off on a purchase of Skittles, telling myself, "I'll just download them when I get home."

We Litigious Few, We Band of Lawyers

2007-04-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

It's only fitting that I wrap up this list of Top 5 Things I Will Miss About Law School on my last day of class.

#1: The people

Learning about contract formation and minimum age requirements wouldn't have been quite the same if there hadn't been someone to ask whether putting a pen in a baby's hand and forcing him to sign qualifies. Property law only really came into focus when I realized I wasn't the only one confused. They told us when we started that we'd know the people from our law school year forever, and I believe it's true, notwithstanding the fact that they are best equipped to get me out of a legal jam real quick-like.

When I think of the people at my law school, I'm reminded of Band of Brothers - not in the sense that these people would take a bullet in the trenches for me (which, incidentally, would be a nice gesture), but that they would ruthlessly prosecute the shooter on my behalf and procure all reasonable damages, perhaps even a future garnishing order on the sniper's salary.

That's it, people are why I will miss law school. That goes for everyone: the notetakers, the CAN-makers, my peers and professors (particularly the ones with a cunning wit: "Where there's a will, there's a relative.") My small group Bane, moot partners, moot point-makers, the LSS, law revue sidekicks, the law review editrix, exam invigilators, visiting litigators, anyone who's made a ride home on the 99 B-line more bearable, anyone who ever gave me a ride to school and thus spared me that indignity, the lower years and upper years, the lawbloggers and blog readers.

Now, I make it a rule to never solicit comments on this site, a practice that I find sullies many otherwise respectable blogs out there, but don't you think this is such an instance where it might be nice to drop me a line, as it were?

So, any and all readers of this site, take the time and let me know what you think, for indeed, this post is for you. I know my mom didn't hit refresh 17,000 times, so that site counter tells me there should be quite a few of you. I even invite you in a race to see who can post "first!"

Fraudulent Goggles of Misrepresentation

2007-04-10T09:37:00.000-07:00

Two more classes to go, and number two on the list of Five Things I'll Miss About Law School:

#2: Being able to say, "I'm a law student"

Tell someone you go to university, and you only have to answer more questions, like what your major is and what proof you have that a job market actually exists for it. Tell someone you go to law school, however, and you've rendered them momentarily speechless. It's like you've handed out beer goggles: you're that much more impressive, intelligent and, I daresay, attractive. It explains that playful retort, "so when I commit a crime I can come to you for advice?"

Law students are always perceived to be on the cusp of something great, and it makes people forget that by sheer statistical function at least some percentage of graduates must go on to practice divorce law or star in personal injury commercials.

When you actually become a lawyer, though, that magic wears off. It's not so funny anymore when your friend actually shows up for advice on that capital crime she's committed. Somehow you're expected to lose a part of your personality - something I've never agreed with, as the majority of lawyers I know are incredibly creative, funny people.

But oh, for those heady law school days when hope springs to a maximum of 14 years, but no less than 7, things are grand.

(I didn't have a handy image for this list item, so in keeping with #5 and #4, here is a 3rd picture of someone about to be eaten alive - by 2 mouths at once no less.)

The Five-Bar Exam

2007-04-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

While I switch gears from studying International Trade to Civil Procedure, I thought I'd add another entry in the Top Five Things I'll Miss About Law School.

#3: The Foos

I'm tempted to talk about how the foosball table was initially a safe haven between first year law classes, where legal discussions flew back and forth with the same unpredictable trajectory as a ball on that slanted table, a veritable watercooler of legal theory. I'm inclined to argue that though the table may be falling apart (yet still no more dilapidated than the rest of the Curtis Building) it's nevertheless as much a part of the three years as reading case law.

All of that's true, but the reason it's on the list is simply because I really liked becoming a respectable foosball player - mastering the "Prism" if not quite getting the "Jahlalabad" (amongst others) - even earning a nickname for my own shot: the end-to-end, blink-and-you-miss-it, powerhouse slapshot, "The National."

Trademark pending.

The tingling is normal

2007-04-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

More in the list of Top Five Things I Will Miss About Law School.

#4: How It Changed Everything

Law school may only constitute 15 hours a week, (12 if you play your cards right before third year) but damned if it doesn't permeate every minute of your life. Whether you like it or not, every piece of information going to your brain will be filtered through everything you've learned in class. You may be inclined to categorize this as an annoyance, and it sort of is. But in another respect, it's also a form of heightened awareness, and the closest I'll ever get to possessing Spidey Sense.

Here's just a short list of things irrevocably changed after 3 years of law school:

- Buying and selling property in a friendly game of Monopoly
- The second half of Law & Order
- The casual dismissal of small print
- The letters R, V, J, and a vowel of your choice
- The first half of CSI (being even more stupid now)
- Enjoying the ignominious fate of Donald Gennarro in Jurassic Park (replaced with a hint of sadness)

(The fact that both this and the previous entry involves pictures of persons inside gaping maws is, I assure you, a pure, but not unwelcome, coincidence).

God of Statutory Interpretation

2007-04-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

Let's see if I can actually follow this plan through... Over the next month I'd like to compile the Top 5 Things I'll Miss about law school. Sure, most of us just can't wait to finish with exams, but I'd hate to spoil the opportunity for making lists.

#5: Becoming an Expert

By third year, you start to recognize your strengths in certain areas of the law, and when you're not so sure, you've built up a network of friends that can fill in those blanks. In turn, they can rely on you for your expertise.

For example, I was recently asked two questions by my peers:

Q1: Do you know of any case law or legislation saying that if a court has interpreted a certain provision one way, and then the statute has since been revised, they should interpret that new provision the same way?

Q2: OK, I've been at it for hours... how do you defeat this Hydra?

I can tell you now my knowledge in one area grossly exceeded the other.

Litigating Out Loud

2007-04-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

I've written about the inexplicable dearth of Canadian law school bloggers before. Maybe I'm the only one who finds the connections between Jack Bauer and developments in Constitutional Law more than tenuous, but I still find it strange that there aren't more Canuck lawyers-to-be on the scene.

And as close as the legal systems between Canada and the US seem, convos with American law school bloggers were previously limited to cursory, non-law questions like, "Do you get CBC down there?" and, "Do we want it?"

Turns out I have more in common with American law school bloggers than I thought. Chatting with Frisco Bay-area blogger (and Lawyerlike recommended), Above Supra, about purchases we'd finally like to make as paid lawyers, it turns out we're both united by faulty consumer products and litigious instincts:

LL: I'd like to get a new tv, if only to replace this aging, wonky remote that randomly turns any button into the mute button.

AS: Whoa - your remote does that too? Maybe it's a common Sony design flaw.

LL: Hold on, are we both talking about Sony Trinitron remote control model RM-Y116?

(here there was a rapid-fire exchange of omgs and lols.)

AS: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? ...

CLASS ACTION.

(If there are other Sony buyers with similar "muted" experiences, contact one of us. This may be the new "big tobacco.")

Chaaaarge.... them with battery

2007-04-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

Two hockey games in one weekend. The Vancouver Canucks versus my hometown Calgary Flames, and the UBC Law Circus recreational team versus some motley team made up of I'm not sure who. I was proud to cheer on my law school team, and I also think I caught the first photographic evidence of both our team in action and lawyers not brutalizing their adversaries. (It was a no-check league after all).

One game was a nailbiter, the other was a romp. One game was tested my allegiances, the other was really, truly a huge romp, like 10-5. Neither game made socially acceptable my legal-themed shouts of "appeal that goal!" or "challenge that check!"

Guess which game this crowd was attending.

Here's the crowd for the UBC Law game, i.e. the team itself.

If there was one skills department where UBC Law outshone their opponents, it was faceoff formation. (All kidding aside, the game was a lot of fun to watch, and it's too bad our team didn't get farther in the playoffs. Let's go law-yers!)

Say what you will about the litigious nature of lawyers, at least they would have recognized the futility of such an argument long ago and recommended a settlement.

Poet Lawreate

2007-03-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

Scandal of scandals, the law school rag, The Legal Eye, is not running the annual Joel Bakan Constitutional Poetry contest this year. For the uninitiated, the contest was created out a UBC law prof's observation that there is no good constitutional poetry anymore (go figure).

Myself being a fan of salacious double entendres and questionable uses of my time, I entered the last two years. I'll post those two entries, along with the third and concluding sonnet here. Feel free to count it out too, that's iambic pentameter for all you Petrarchan sonnet buffs out there:

Bawdy Politic:
A Constitutional Romance in Three Sonnets

From John A. to Connie

Whereas, this humble man enacts desire,
To corporeally unite and sire,
One dominion with thee. This preamble
Is but a missive, a lonely gamble
From one whose heart has oft been rescinded.
Yet with thine love it may be amended,
For a division of powers cannot
Befall an obsession so justly wrought.
Repeal thy dress, and lay with me, entrenched
In passion substantive and lust unquenched.
Against thy body politic, enshrine
We might, this challenged section sixty-nine.
Interpret without ambiguity
Love codified, in perpetuity.

The Constitutional Cuckold

What you call concern, ‘tis emergency,
For matters of love are ancillary
To naught. Whither once was paramountcy
Now you deign not, gaze yonder, to mount me!
Whose pith and substance hath int’rested thee,
Made me incidental, torn symmetry
Asunder? Why forsake my dominion,
Central for so long, for province of sin?
But hark! Ye o’erlook a double aspect,
Mine own trade and commerce with fairer sex.
Long hath I played Zellerbach to pristine
Waters of yours. Now I turn to doctrine.
I’m held immune by Ninety-One’s success,
While thee made whore of multiple access.

A Trial Separation of Powers

Is love spent? Doth my East alienate
Your West? A decision to separate
Cannot have majority from two, lest
Dissent descend to where I lay - madness.
Recall, I was your body’s First Nation,
Kind, sui generis confed’ration,
Ere our pairing ‘twas discriminated,
Struck down, failed Oakes, unenumerated.
So, this “loving tree” shall be felled. Marry
Again I shan’t. Instead, unitary
Governance I’ll seek, unless you’ll regard,
One last entreaty from this heart’s Hansard.
Would ye consider menagerie as
Tri-partite system? Too ultra vires?

4 weeks later...

2007-03-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

We're just under one month till I hand in my final final exam, and you know what that means for this site.* I'd be lying if I didn't say it's actually a bittersweet time, but there'll be plenty of time to reminisce over the next month. After all, I have to procrastinate from studying somehow. In the meantime, there are some positive developments happening outside of law school worth mentioning:

Oprah has finally selected a book I can get - and have gotten - behind. Cormac McCarthy, one of my favourite writers, is also famously reclusive, so it'll be nice to see him appear on television and, let's pray, jump on the couch.

A new show, "The Tudors," is premiering on television this week. I don't know much about it save that it features Henry VIII and it's modelled after the very R-rated "Deadwood," a fave of mine. Only time will tell if "codpiece-sucker" will be revived as the go-to swear word, much like the word Al Swearengen of "Deadwood" made popular again.

Zombies! Up until the trailer for this panic-inducing, carpet-bombing zombie spectacular appeared, 28 Weeks Later simply referred to the point at which I have to get back in school mode and attend PLTC courses in the fall. Now I just don't know which is scarier.

*That should have read, "you know what that means for this site."

Imports/Exports/Retorts

2007-03-27T16:07:00.000-07:00

International Trade Law is one of my favourite courses this term, I suppose because I appreciate the economics angle of it, and I've always thought importer/exporter to be the best-sounding non-descript job title. It's also a great class for exchanges like these:

Professor: So, imagine that the International Trade Commission has just upheld an anti-dumping duty levied on your client's exports from Canada. He comes to your office to find out what he can do. Now what do you tell your client?

Class: (silence)

Professor: C'mon, you're getting paid $400 an hour. You can't just sit there.

Class: (just sits there)

Professor: It's now down to $300 an hour.

There was a lot more silence before our prof gave us the simple answer (appeal!), so I can only assume the class was waiting out the hour to make $600.

Victory via Victorians

2007-03-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again: when faced with a choice in law school between exam and a paper, always take the paper. That said, I hate writing papers. No matter how many times I latch on to inspiration and wrestle a conclusion out of a paper, the same creative struggle resumes with each new assignment. (The obvious upside, of course, is that this struggle doesn't have to play out in only three hours.)

If there's one trick I might suggest, it's a change of perspective. This can be taken literally - I often find leaving my apartment and relocating to the local Starbucks makes for a ~~healthier~~ more conducive environment. (Note, under no circumstances would I recommend the Curtis Building's library.) But more importantly, it's necessary to understand the overall perspective: you're writing a 25 page paper which, in the grand scheme of things, isn't that much. For instance, this site has 322 posts, averaging 250 words per, and double-spaced essay page has roughly 350 words... so essentially I've written a 230-page essay with no discernible thesis and scattershot citation.

Of course, like any writer, I ignore my own advice quite frequently. This Entertainment Law paper (about my struggles as a screenwriter) has proved no easier after a Grande dark, a Long Americano, and, to shake things up and because I like it - an Orangina.

No easier, that is, until I got a new book: Ben Wilson's The Making of Victorian Values. (It's the book with the boring-sounding title but hilarious cover that currently occupies the equal opportunity music/book java-powered showcase in this blog's sidebar.) The fact that I love the subject matter isn't the point here (though, as an aside, I find Victorians, as an historical segment of society, endlessly amusing and my favourite Shins lyric has always been "Just a glimpse of an ankle and I / react like it's 1805.")

The point is that Ben Wilson, with his immense vocabulary and amazing essay skills - is only 25. He's my age, and he's written an essay twice the length of this entire thing with a far more reliable system of citation. So, I read the prologue of this book last night and I instantly went back to my essay. Not surprisingly, I found it much easier to write: my advice, read what you like, then write what you want.

Man, I really should have been charging for this advice over the last three years.

I lack the Dharma Initiative

2007-03-25T08:31:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to finish this Entertainment Law essay (yes, the one I swore would be done one month ago) so I'll post these pictures in lieu of writing more. I hadn't taken a drive through the decimated Stanley Park since the storm in December, and with a break in the endless rain last night, it seemed like a good time. My favourite trees on the east side of the island are thankfully intact, but I can't say the same for the west - this view didn't use to exist.

Then there's this Lost-inspired purple sky.

Somewhere, a hatch just imploded.

Conceptual Laws

2007-03-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

I read an article about how the new Modest Mouse album (which I really like) began as a concept album about sailors dying in every song. I know the new Joel Plaskett Emergency album, Ashtray Rock, is also a concept album about the tribulations of two teenagers in Halifax, but more importantly, Joel previously made a great concept album about doctors on In Need of Medical Attention.

It made me wonder if anyone's attempted "the great lawyer concept album." I assume that San Fran band, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, attempted an expansive Property Law concept album with the song "Lien on Your Dreams" from Baby 81 - but gave up shortly thereafter.

Awesome song aside, I suppose you can only make so many tortured songs about mortgages. (And so many rhymes).

Playstation in the Second Degree

2007-03-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

It's one of the more surprising aspects of law school that I've been able to keep up with reading whilst devoting a fair amount of time to video games. And one of the things I like best about this site is that it gives me the excuse to view everything through ~~rose-coloured~~ legal-shaded glasses.

On that note, here's a list of the games I've been playing throughout law school, and an appraisal into the legality of what I get up to in each:

God of War II:
Goal? As Kratos, violently dethrone the various Gods of Olympus and install yourself as the first mortal God of War.
Legal? Although the ancient Greek civilization might be credited with founding the system of jurisprudence we hold so dear today, I can't imagine those wise jurists would condone my use of spinning decapitations with the Blades of Chaos. (Part of a "Vindictive Combo!")

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater:
Goal? Covertly land in the jungles of Southern Russia and deactivate a newly designed, long range nuclear weapon.
Legal? This one's a gray area: you play as an operative for the U.S. government and therefore all action - such as exploding enemy kneecaps - should be implicitly legal. But then what to make of the Russian government's sanctioned use of loads and loads of eye-gouging torture?

Red Dead Revolver:
Goal? Remove corrupt town officials and win the local deadly showdown contest.
Legal? Surprisingly, yes. The lawlessness of the Old West took little umbrage with the vigilante brand of justice necessary to persevere in the game. Shotgun to the face? A fair and reasonable reaction to provocation.

NHL 2K6:
Goal? Lead your team to the playoffs and hopefully the Stanley Cup, but most of all, have fun.
Legal? You'd think so, but the kind of hits I lay down in this game fall into the Holt v. Verbruggen definition of "assault and battery not reasonably contemplated by voluntary participation in professional sports."

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas:
Purpose? Avenge your dear mother's death and become kingpin of the imaginary state of San Andreas.
Legal? Awww, hell no.

Know Your A B PLTCs

2007-03-20T16:00:00.000-07:00

It's a remarkably sunny day here in Vancouver, which is not to say it's warm - there's this Mistral-like wind blowing about that's put the chill, maybe fittingly, on this last day of winter. And coming spring means summer is soon after and, for graduating law students - the real world.

A lot of people ask me if the lawyer transformation is complete upon graduation, or if we really lost our soul those three years ago. (We only draft Faust's contract, not sign it.) The answer is no, that before the bar call, there is a year of articling, the key portion of which is (at least in this province) a ten-week stint of tender loving PLTC.

This is the Professional Legal Training Course, for which I attended an info session last week. It appears that after a summer of glorious frictional unemployment and an Italian trip during which I'll celebrate finally being done school - there's more school.

PLTC involves taking comprehensive courses at a building downtown in eight areas of the law, four of which I had (either successfully or not) avoided up until now: Creditor's Remedies, Family, Real Estate and Estates (also just as real). We're also responsible for four assignments: Advocacy (my client has a bloody knife, how do I tell him I won't hide it for him) Writing (Dear client, stop waving that thing about, it's not making you look any more innocent) Interviewing and Drafting. The last week culminates in two three-hour exams and them blam, we are professionally, legally, trained.

So to sum: in five weeks, I'll be 16 weeks away from being 10 weeks away from only being 9 months away from being a lawyer.

The Battle of Thermopylaw

2007-03-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

I consider it a funny coincidence that last night I saw 300 and today witnessed the annual law school trike race. I think I might be forgiven for confusing the two.

As history tells it, the Spartans wedged themselves into a tight rocky passage called the "Hot Gates" in order to use their small numbers as an advantage.

We used a 50 metre stretch of the East Mall outside the law building, but the opportunity for slaughter by waterballoon was still there.

Of course, only one of the events had political undertones and male nudity, two things which, absent, make for better law school events all around.

The natural question is, which warrior do you want as your counsel in court? I might have to give the edge to the Spartans here. Objection! Your! Honour!

Revue Reviewed

2007-03-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Last night I finally got to sit in the audience for a Law Revue. The show had one real disadvantage over last year's in that the theatre wasn't licensed for drinking - but thankfully, the resourcefulness of an audience that can order and down pitchers at a nearby bar during a 15 minute intermission and a terrific cast managed to overcome that issue.

Speaking as one who knows just how much goes into such a production, I think it was fantastic. My personal favourite skit of the night was "Charlie v. The Chocolate Factory," a hilarious trial of occupier's liability. Particularly the testimony of Augustus Gloop:

I looked for a sign, caution, achtung! But zere vas nozzing!

(Yes the photo is horrible quality, but I was laughing pretty hard when I took it.)

The video I shot for the show with friends Thom and Jeremy - my one contribution - was also extremely well received - a bonus. It's amazing what this Mac's editing software can do, even if my Alfonso Cuaron/Children of Men-inspired tracking shot didn't quite have the emotional impact of that masterpiece. I'll see if I can get it uploaded here.

Fraidy Cat

2007-03-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

What's this? Admin ends early? Normally this class rushes headlong to 9pm like some Law & Order episode bound for continuation, but somehow tonight I find with more time to prepare for Lost at 10.

Today's class was all about one case, Pushpanathan v. Canada (Minister of Citizenship and Immigration). Because the case is the Rosetta Stone of judicial review in administrative law, the word Pushpanathan was mentioned a lot. Of course, every time I heard it, it just sounded like two words pushed together, Panther Anathema.

I mention this because I keep a mental list of cool band names I'd use were I ever in one. Therefore, I'll be adding Panther Anathema to: Conquistador, The Murders in the Rue Morgue (or simply "The Murders" to die-hard fans), and Jean Valjean to name a few. (I'm sure friend and reader W will remind me of more I've mentioned in the past.) And hey, let's add Rosetta Stone to the list too.

Harry Potter and the Ghoulish Gelato

2007-03-12T22:36:00.000-07:00

As anyone who reads this site a lot knows, (anyone?) I like to read, and not just those stacks and stacks of engrossing statutes. This last semester, however, hasn't seen me read much. It's been so lacklustre that I've actually returned to try and finish the book I was reading when I started law school - Dickens' Bleak House. Damn you 900 page tomes!

Luckily, there are new and excellent (and non-law-related) books on the horizon:

Michael Chabon - The Yiddish Policemen's Union
I've been waiting for this ever since I first put down The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (and every time I've put it down since). Chabon is one of the very few authors I'd read word unread, (is this the literate equivalent of sight unseen?) but in this case what I know about the novel has my interest piqued. It comes out May, too late to make exam studying more bearable, but whaddya know, advance leaks aren't just restricted to the musical world...

Elmore Leonard - The Complete Western Stories
I once went through a phase where I read every Elmore Leonard novel I could get my hands on. City Primeval is still my favourite of the idiosyncratic criminal fare, but I also loved his Western stuff. In particular, "Forty Lashes Less One" - a story about two prisoners taught the art of distance running to raise their spirits, which of course inadvertently makes chasing them after a prison break that much harder. Anyway, this collection has stories like that, times thirty, plus one.

Alex Kapranos - Sound Bites
This one isn't new, nor is it really a novel. But I've come to several conclusions: (1) I'm renting an Italian villa this summer, so I'd like to be able to prepare some great meals there. (2) Typical cookbooks are normally a wasted effort on me. (3) I like Franz Ferdinand and their lead singer wrote a book about experiencing meals around the world, meals that could perhaps provide the necessary inspiration. You could have it so much better, indeed.

JK Rowling - Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows
You knew this would be on the list. Will it make it less childish if I try and read the Italian version? No? Ha valso uno sforzo.

Graduation Adulation

2007-03-11T14:52:00.000-07:00

Graduation is now one less booze-fuelled event away. On Friday night, nearly 200 third years attended the grad dinner and dance, a figure that suggests the attrition rate was not as high as murmured by some back in first year law.

I'm certain our law school's resident papparazza will have all the best pictures, so once they're up I'll link to them. What the pictures won't convey are some of the other non-alcohol related highlights: hilarious and ill-timed slideshow photos during some of the more serious speeches, a particularly incendiary valedictory address, and almost no one using the dance floor - maybe the dangers of tortious action are perceived to be just too high now?

The event was at the Four Seasons hotel downtown and was really nicely set up - although I did get a huge Shining vibe from the excess of chandeliers, wood-panelled walls and emerald mirrors. (The latter would also explain the strong Return to Oz vibe.) The grad committee did a great job, overpriced drinks and scratching-challenged DJ notwithstanding.

Update: head over to Kasia's cache to see all the best grad photos.

Lawyers always go for the green

2007-03-08T10:16:00.000-08:00

A prof of mine referred to this stage of the law term as the "back nine." I'm a golfer myself, so I can appreciate the comparison. But at the time, all I could think of was my time as a junior golfer - unwittingly placed into competition with other obnoxious juniors who all fancied themselves Tiger Woods, and me doing everything short of using my club as a lightning rod so that we would have to abandon the course in a thunderstorm. Competition made as much sense to me then as it does now in law school.

Of course, what the prof failed to mention is that if that the comparison were truly apt, the "back nine" of third year law is really just a series of par 3s culminating in one long par 12. And me prone to sand traps.

Bleak Indeed

2007-03-05T14:05:00.000-08:00

Darn. Seems that lawyers do, in fact, have a long history of working late hours, going back to the mid-nineteenth century, (if not even further back). I was holding out hope that these long work days were a passing fad.

From Charles Dickens' Bleak House:

It is night in Lincoln's Inn - perplexed and troublous valley of the shadow of the law, where suitors generally find but little day ... In dirty upper casements, here and there, hazy little patches of candle-light reveal where some wise draughtsman and conveyancer yet toils for the entanglement of real estate in meshes of sheepskin, in the average ratio of about a dozen of sheep to an acre of land. Over which bee-like industry, these benefactors of the species linger yet, though office-hours be past: that they may give, for every day, some good account at last.

Two bloody thumbprints up

2007-03-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

The other day I was chatting with a friend about favourite law school courses. I always go back to Evidence, because it represents the things I liked about law school in the first place (the procedure but also the gritty details), and it's also the place where law and order meet - another confluence unofficially explaining why I'm in law.

I think it also explains why I liked this Zodiac movie so much. While watching it last night, I thought it might have just as easily been called, Evidence: The Movie. Full of talk about circumstantial evidence, the inherent problems in photo lineups, the general unreliability of witness statements over time and more of the stuff that made up my 8:30 a.m. on Monday class (a time that almost relegated this course to least favourite).

It's also a pretty amazing-looking film, with some nifty shots of the Bay Area - directorial flourishes guaranteed not to disappoint Fight Club fans. And while I like Evidence a lot, don't get me confused with the guy in this headline:

Jurisprudence fetishist gets off on technicality.

Pow! Krak! Thud! Appeal Denied!

2007-03-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

I've had a resurgence of nostalgia for my England days as of late. Four years ago, I was living at Herstmonceux Castle in East Sussex, living a rather carefree existence with a minimum of classes a week. Sort of like last semester of third year law.

That's why I found it such a strange and cool coincidence when I saw the following panel in a Hellboy comic:

This made me that much more a fan of Mike Mignola's woodcut-styled story. Part of the fun of Herstmonceux was walking about the grounds at night looking for evidence of these ghosts. Now while the ghost that HB describes is indeed one of the legends, people I went to the castle with would likely agree that the 9-foot tall headless drummer is the best ghost of all, specifically because he was the only one to leave a legacy of a pub named in his honour.

I almost never read comics unless it's an Alan Moore work or somehow related to one of the best books ever. But I've often thought that some case law might have been better represented in comic form. Certainly some of this snooze-inducing Admin Law could stand to use some action shots.

Ides who?

2007-02-28T13:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not really sure what happened to February, but March is just one Admin Law class away. (At three hours on a Wednesday night, it's plodding length will make up for the lack of a leap year.) With no presentations or essays due in March, it's likely to be the least stressful month of all three years.

There are, of course, things to look forward to in March:

Law Revue: The show is always a blast. It's the first year I won't be directly involved, meaning I get to sit in the audience for once. Tradition dictates that out of the two nights of performances, one audience will truly respect all of the hard work and respond with applause and laughter - while the second audience will pour forth a torrent of heckling and general antipathy meant to remind performers that they are law students and not drama majors. I'll book the second night.

The Law School Trike Race: this event is my favourite of the year. It's often said that law school doesn't give you a lot of hands-on practical work, (apart from the awesome, average-boosting Appellate Advocacy course) but there's no better opportunity to parse the fine differences between assault and battery than the boozed-up tricycle race. Last year's race also produced this website's best photograph, and a video of said tortious conduct.

Grad Dinner & Dance: maybe the first dress-up affair for law students where landing an interview/career/future isn't on the line. It'll be one of the last big send-offs, so expect a "what happens in Vegas is protected by client-solicitor privilege" type of mentality.

More Villa-ny

2007-02-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

After looking up Amalfi tags on Flickr I was able to find this picture, and fairly easily located our place for the summer trip. Awesome.

I really hope the tag system I've implemented on this site helps searchers with all their extensive Jack Bauer needs.

Villa-fied

2007-02-23T10:19:00.000-08:00

E fatto! Più meno di cinque mesi!

To translate, I'm excited. We finalized plans and booked a villa right in the centre of Amalfi - and more imporantly - right near the beach. For a week in July, we have a great base to check out several towns along the Amalfi Coast or just relax. And if the relief work done by Google Earth map experts is correct, any sort of travel around these mountains calls for a lot of relaxation.

To be honest, the trip was partly inspired by an episode of Jamie Oliver's show I saw where he went to the Amalfi coast. I liked the idea of being in a villa where you could cook some of your own meals instead of depending on restaurants all the time.

Of course, the place does come stocked with a healthy supply of food: fresh fruit, olives, wine, prosciutto, among other things and my particular favourite - Nutella. European kids are raised on that stuff and it's an oversight in my opinion that the FDA/CFIA hasn't put the product on more breakfast tables in North America.

It wasn't a dealmaker in and of itself - that was left to the stunning views of the mountains and ocean - but it's nice to know you're taken care of. I was reminded of the various things to look for in signing a property agreement.

As if the next few months of law school weren't going to go by slow enough, now I have this on the horizon. And what a horizon it is!

Wishing "Reading Week" wasn't so literal

2007-02-18T22:52:00.000-08:00

There's really no excuse for me not to have this Entertainment Law essay done by week's end, so at least I'm off to a good start. Maybe it was a combination of the double digit warm weather, my apartment patio and the London Fog from Starbucks, but I sat down and read one of the larger books I have for my research from start to finish.

I've only ever read one novel in one sitting, Graham Greene's Ministry of Fear, (to this day one of my favorite books) when I was living in England. Actually, the circumstances were much the same - an abundance of time from having only 3 days of classes a week - except I suppose the London fog was real.

This new book is The Screenwriter's Legal Guide, a book my moot partner introduced me to back in first year when he heard I was writing a script. Like most amateur writers, I ignored all external advice, so it wasn't until this essay that I got the book out from the library. Basically the book is gold for research purposes - ironic because the point that's driven home again and again throughout the book is how unprofitable the television sector of the entertainment industry is, and in particular how little money I could expect to make from selling a spec pilot script.

Scenes from "Lost: Canada"

2007-02-16T13:50:00.000-08:00

I'm beginning to have a greater understanding of why this film production is taking place at my law school. We often get a lot of people in the building looking for free legal advice, so it's obvious that the characters in this Passengers movie leave the plane crash and think, maybe there's a tort in here somewhere.

I can see how a lawsuit might have come out of this.

Stranger still, all those people standing were in wheelchairs before the crash.

And in case you're wondering: yes, that is the film's star Anne Hathaway holding that 'Hearth Fire' box. Hollywood magic.

Howie Mandel must be estopped

2007-02-15T12:22:00.000-08:00

In a few hours I'll begin reading week, likely the last time in my life someone will give me time off work to catch up on Hellboy comics. I won't be able to top last year's experience of visiting New York during the break, but I'm lucky enough to live in a city that has plenty of wonders of its own.

And who knows, I might do some work too. I've got the green light to write my Entertainment Law essay on how I would, hypothetically of course, sell my TV pilot to either Canadian or American broadcasters. I suppose I'm looking for legal obligations and creative considerations that would maybe make one route more attractive for Canadian screenwriters and possibly explain the dearth of original programming in this country. I refuse to count Deal or No Deal Canada on so many levels.

I'm not exactly sure where a lot of the research will come from on this one, but I've been told there are quite a few Entertainment Law journals out there - plus I've always got the "How To" screenwriting books I bought years ago, which up until now have only been of aid in the fraudulent advertising and misrepresentation sections of Contract Law.

Law-Law Land

2007-02-13T12:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the law school received an email saying that a new film will be shooting inside the Curtis Building this month. It's an Anne Hathaway movie called Passengers, (not the more promising zombie movie I had hoped for) and apparently it's about the stories that follow a plane crash.

My first guess as to what the building would stand in for proved wrong, as apparently the plane wreckage sets are located down at Jericho Beach. Now, I can only surmise that the building is used for nightmarish dream sequences, to give the audiences a strong sense of claustrophobia.

But given the building's newfound appeal (definitely newfound), may I suggest other productions that could work in the law building?

The third season of Lost: the main complaint (not shared by myself) about this current season is that it's all about the Others and that it's all underground. Jack's already been forced to perform medical procedures, why not have him perform contract negotiations or mediate property disputes on behalf of his captors?

The sequel to The Departed: anyone who's seen this fantastic movie knows how insanely ludicrous the proposition of a follow-up is. So, given that a screenwriter could care less about storytelling, why not allow your production designer to pay as little notice to the sets and decoration.

24: I often feel a driving, subconscious countdown to leave the building, so I imagine this will translate well on film. All of President Palmer's scenes from this sixth season take place in his White House bunker - not a stretch for the ol' Curtis building. But producers need to hurry up, if last night's episode was any indication, we won't be needing this set for long.

Scarlett Johansson's Next Film: I could care less what it's about, so long as she's available to sign autographs after 3:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Sunday Reading

2007-02-11T11:42:00.000-08:00

The law school's most august publication, The Legal Eye, came out last week, and in it was a nice little article about last month's Guile comedy debate.

I like how the author of the piece preserved some of my more ostentatious quotes:

"As the second speaker in favour of the proposition, 'award-winning blogger and magazine cover boy' Austin began by having the audience visualize Lady Justice - 'that blind woman who hangs outside of courthouses with a scale and sword.' ... He then contrasted the superior precision of fairness (balancing) with the haphazard results of justice ('Lady Justice can't exactly measure out of a pound of flesh, she can't even eyeball it!') ..."

To read the full article from the February issue, go here.

So after reading the papers, time to tend to all the law reading for the upcoming week and prepare for tomorrow's Entertainment Law presentation. Ah, Sundays, so much to do. Of course, you know what song British legend Alan Partridge said really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, don't you?

More Little-known Law

2007-02-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

From Gray's Law Dictionary:

On the Hilarious History of Habeas Corpus

The term habeas corpus enjoys a lofty stature among jurists, commonly known as the "great writ." It is often trod out as the ultimate item of appeal, when a lawyer questions the legality of his client's imprisonment. Classicists will often relate the literal translation, "you have the body," as an explanation for the term's origin. This is a fair enough translation, but the term's actual conception occurred well after the Roman Empire's demise - 1500s London, to be exact.

Christopher Marlowe is sometimes credited as the "Real Shakespeare," but it was early London playwright Bartleby Cruikshank that might be described as the "Real Marlowe." It was Cruikshank's experiences in London gaols - he being a constant debtor - that gave rise to "Marlowe's" first popular play in 1581, a comedy of errors entitled, "The Forgetful Warden."

The play revolved around Hollis Borden, keeper of Newgate Prison. Borden was the cause of several comedic episodes within the prison because his constantly failing memory meant some prisoners, intended to stay for one night, would often languish in the cells indefinitely.

In one instance, Jenny Prattleswell pleads to Borden for the release of her lover, William. Borden, after finding William dead for want of food, serves up his long-lost and newly imprisoned twin, Hampton. Jenny is oblivious to the swap, attributing William's memory loss to a stay in gaol - Hampton merely happy to be free. Keen audience members, however, recognize that where William was missing his left ear, Hampton misses a right one.

The raucous appeal of the play usually peaked at the end of every act when Borden would, at the behest of the inquiring families, retreat to his prison officials and deliver the refrain:

"Have we his corpse?!"

Thus, the more familiar and Latin-ized term habeas corpus devolved from the Cockney pronunciation of this catchphrase, as the play was performed at the Rose Theatre, frequented with the more slovenly-tongued, lower-income crowds of Southwark.

We, of course, would find this warden's practice repulsive today. However, it seemed quite parodical to denizens of London at the time. It was quite common practice for family members to inquire at local gaols and have the existence of their imprisoned loved ones denied entirely.

Indeed, Alexandre Dumas romanticized this longstanding tradition in 1845 with The Count of Monte Cristo, seemingly offering hope to thousands of families that their relatives might one day return from prison. We know now, of course, that Dumas was doing no such thing, having instead been commissioned by the real Count of Monte Cristo to write the novel as a promotional tool for his many elaborate fêtes.

As for the term's legal inception, it was only when the play's revival nearly 300 years later grew in popularity among the learned - and therefore political - crowd that questions about the legality of this habit started being asked. Member of Parliament Lord Hailsham remarked to the House, "You may, my lords, have seen Shakespeare's recent play 'The Forgetful Warden,' and asked, much like myself - what if we were to produce a corpse!"

Eventually, the sentiment gained momentum and found its way into courts as a useful tool for resourceful lawyers. Stories are often told of barristers of the late 20th century serving the writ in front of Lord Denning - a lover of the theatre - and hearing him reply with another of Borden's famous phrases:

"Jenny Prattleswell but her lover don't 'ear it!"

Where's Doctorlike?

2007-02-09T11:10:00.000-08:00

Phew, almost broke the update-at-least-once-a-week streak I've had going on this site since its beginning. (Devoted readers know how important streaks are to me). I have been updating this site recently, only behind the scenes. I've upgraded Blogger's template, giving me a few more organizational options, only in doing so it wiped clean all style elements I had built up.

I've fixed them, as well as added labels to just about every post ever written on this site (this being post #300). That way, when I cease updating this site in 76 days (by D's count), then you can still easily peruse through the site and marvel at how a law student devotes an inordinate amount of posts to Jack Bauer and Harry Potter. (If people still notice display errors with this site in IE, please let me know below.)

I can't say I notice many trends in what I post about. I suppose I write less about music than I did, perhaps having exhausted all goodwill in constantly plugging Ryan Adams' albums. (Is it too late to say how great this Bright Eyes disc is?) I guess it's enough that I'm still updating - it means I'm still very much interested in the law. When I see people negligent with their law blogs, I wonder if med students also blog, and then if they trail off as well, becoming jaded with cadavers, or if they secure resident jobs before their final year and then half-ass brain their surgery classes.

Bollywood West

2007-02-03T14:59:00.000-08:00

I'm working on a presentation for my Entertainment Law class. Despite my years of avoiding labour law - a subject I find confusing and frightening - here I am writing an outline for "Labour Relations in the Film Industry."

Currently, the union representing Canadian actors and performers is on strike, protesting a lack of "new media" residuals and low wages, meaning that American producers might just have to film that New York-based film in, gulp, New York. Foreign film productions are, of course, the major meal ticket for much of the local film industry. Case in point: offices for the law firm where I'll be working next year appear in the opening scenes of the new Fantastic Four trailer, ostensibly set in NYC.

However, research for this presentation has actually been pretty cool. Collective agreements for film production give a wealth of insights on topics such as: arrangements surrounding butt-doubles, child actors' per diems, and how Andy Millman, infamous background performer, would have earned $19.77 an hour for this.

Subpoena of the Baskervilles

2007-01-31T17:45:00.000-08:00

I realize I've been remiss about a certain subject lately. Anyone who's been blindly feeling their way around Vancouver for the last few days knows that of which I speak: that's right, Fogwatch is back.

Since about Saturday evening, a steady stream of (pirate-free?) fog has blanketed various parts of the city. It's not the all-penetrating behemoth it was back in November '05, but it has continued long enough to catch my attention and bring to mind more than one awful movie.

In particular, coming upon the law school's Curtis Building at night in fog is quite a sight to behold. I can't help but think that this foreboding setting is what architects pictured when they designed it: fashioned after a magnificent tor in dense fog, harbouring some dastardly evil, perhaps recalling a scene from a Sherlock Holmes story.

A Crime of Supreme Inconvenience

2007-01-28T14:08:00.000-08:00

In what I suppose was the universe's way of testing my dedication to the law as I make my way through a final, more relaxed term of law school - my car was broken into this weekend. It's an awful feeling, I had to file a police report, and my phone was taken. However, it wasn't the hate crime against my Calgary Flames dice that I had long suspected might happen in a city of rabid Canucks fans.

I hate this. It also means that I have to download my "Final Countdown" ringtone yet again. I simply insist on having the same tune as the world's worst magician.

Arrivederci Dracula

2007-01-26T15:35:00.000-08:00

My special lady/ladyfriend and I have settled on a summer trip destination. Previous itineraries of Eastern Europe and the pillaging of Dracula's castle will have to wait for another year. Instead, for (at least) two weeks, it'll be the Amalfi Coast in Southern Italy.

I like the idea of having several weeks to relax, visit beaches, and - talents willing - spirit home Dickie Greenleaf. Plus, it'll give me an opportunity to use my Italian. And the timing couldn't be better: now, in response to "What do you do back in Canada?" I'll no longer have to say,

"Sono studente della legge," (I'm a law student). Instead, I can say:

"Sono avvocato," (I'm a lawyer), a phrase I've always admired on account of how it sounds like copping to being an avocado.

Night of the Living Admin

2007-01-26T09:14:00.000-08:00

This is the first semester in 7 years of university that I've had a night class. I wasn't looking forward to it because, first of all, it's Administrative Law, not renowned for keeping one awake, and the class is on Wednesdays, dangerously close to interrupting Lost.

But now, I sort of like it. This last Wednesday I had the time to take a walk down to Kits beach. Of course, I suppose part of the reason I never took a night class in Kingston is that there were no nice beaches to go to during the day, only the shores of a sludge-ridden "great" lake.

Somehow, the director of Rumble in the Bronx had no issues shooting here.

Little-known Law

2007-01-24T09:21:00.000-08:00

From Gray's Law Dictionary:

"Interesting Etymologies of Idiomatic Legal Expressions:

In the year 1831, Jacob Open and Jack Shut were neighbouring landowners outside of Swaffham, England. Mr. Open, a pig farmer, had contracted to lease a portion of land from Mr. Shut, who raised flax.

The arrangement was amenable to Mr. Shut, as the land in question was prone to flooding, making it unsuitable for flax but altogether an ideal place in which pigs could wallow. Soon enough, a litter of piglets was birthed.

However, since the birth took place upon his neighbour's leased land, Mr. Open deemed the shoats Shut's and refused to make lease payments, arguing his neighbour to be a bona fide pig-chaser for value without notice.

In retaliation, Jack Shut enforced a lien on the land and seized Open's assets. Doing so, however, meant Shut ran afoul of Inland Revenue laws, as the pig profits were not flax-deductible.

To complicate matters, Mr. Shut had been carrying on a four-month affair with Mrs. Open, wife of Jacob and a notorious philanderess. Most of the late-night encounters took place on the portion of land in question. When the affairs were finally discovered, it prompted lawyers for Mr. Open to sue for "double trespass," a tort over both his farmland and his wife.

While preliminary proceedings were filed in the circuit court, the matter never went to trial as the night before the evidentiary hearing, Mrs. Open shot and killed both Jacob and Jack, absconded with the money and was never to be found. Lawyers for both parties had no need to carry on.

Hence, when lawyers find themselves overly prepared for a trial, they recall this set of events and deem it an Open v. Shut case."

A good reason to pursue appellate work

2007-01-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

Tonight's annual Guile comedy debate capped off another busy law school week - 12 hours of class a week being busy enough. My partner and I didn't win, which was actually quite forseeable when we realized we were up against the funniest person in law school. I find you often meet people in law that could easily entertain other careers - this man could be a comedian. He has that effortless style like a Demetri Martin, that's impossible to top.

On the bright side, there was the best kind of consolation for the losing team - monetary consolation. Ironic that the only money I'm likely to earn from this law school isn't for smarts, but for acting stupid - and for acting so in front of the Chief Justice of the BC Supreme Court.

Member of the Toblerone Bar Association

2007-01-17T13:38:00.000-08:00

I just received an email inviting law students to a reception for the "Nanaimo County Bar Association." I find this funny, because you have to remember that in Canada, we don't ~~have counties~~ concern ourselves with counties like in the United States - only provinces and municipalities. The email says that "Nanaimo County" includes the coastal city of Nanaimo and several other small towns in that area of Vancouver Island. But really, nothing hinges on such an arbitrary border.

It's obvious, then, that they stuck in the word County in order to not be called the "Nanaimo Bar Association," which would be considerably less legal and far more chocolatey.

I wish the law school had a watercooler

2007-01-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

One of the great things about living in a city that fancies itself the Los Angeles of Canada is that you get good films sooner than everybody else. Pan's Labyrinth came out this weekend and naturally it got in the way of law school reading. I really, really liked this film - it's Life is Beautiful meets Hellboy... in a very dark alley.

I get an added kick from watching Spanish foreign films. I try every once in a while to ignore the subtitles and see if I can follow along. And if there's one foreign film where you want to to focus as much attention in the centre of the screen as possible, it's one where creatures look as cool as this.

And of course, when I returned to finish up Monday's reading, 24 has to air its season premiere. As far as premieres go in this series, it was decent - no major character deaths, but added points for Jack Bauer's newfound vampirism. I suppose maybe the mitigating factor was the appearance of actor Carlo Rota - not the only television show he's in this week.

Last week the CBC had a hit with its new show Little Mosque on the Prairie, which I'm surprised to report was actually pretty funny - and not just by Canadian standards. Rota's in that show too, but methinks after watching both shows that only one is likely to be embraced by the Muslim community. Hint: it's not the one where every Muslim character on the show was either bombed or tortured.

That said, I'll still watch 24, because it makes for interesting watercooler talk after Charter Law classes.

And now, your moment of zen.

Adesso voglio imparare la legge Italiana

2007-01-12T09:48:00.000-08:00

When I was at Queen's University, in my first year I got 97% in Italian and I knew things could only go down from there. (And oh, how they did.) Fall term marks for third year came out yesterday, and I'm glad to report that I've actually created the opposite trend throughout law school. Of course, this term wasn't free from the typical aberration.

If you had talked to me directly after my first, second and third year exams, I would have said my best tests were Contracts, Advanced Criminal Procedure, Corporations and most recently, Conflicts. If you were to ask me directly after receiving my marks for each of these terms, these classes nicely correspond to my worst marks.

I suppose I can appreciate this kind of irony, I just really, really hope it doesn't flow over into my legal career. I can just picture it now:

[Me to client]: I feel really good about our chances with this one, nay, I'm sure of it.

[Client to Crown]: Let's make a deal.

Lawyers will be zombie stand-ins

2007-01-10T19:57:00.000-08:00

We are off to the races in the final term. And like each new term, there are some surprises, although I guess I didn't expect them to come from Admin Law. Maybe it's early in the course, but I like what I hear, the profs seem easy-going, and best of all - the reading material is free. This is a benefit understated until I tell you I have to pay $92 for 153 pages in International Trade Law.

I can't speak about the Trade Law class itself because the professor was missing for the inaugural lecture. Say what you will about the generosity of lawyers, we extended the famous 5-minute rule a whole extra half-hour before we left. Or maybe this just speaks to the tenacity of lawyers and their inclination to extend measurements of time...

Thankfully, Entertainment Law is shaping up to be as great as I'd hoped it would be. Speaking of entertainment, there was a large crowd of guests at the school the other day, and word on the street is that they were a film crew scouting locations around the building. Now I'm confused, because the only movie I can picture being filmed at the law building is the British film 28 Weeks Later, the sequel to my favorite movie of 2003, 28 Days Later - but I guess if a plot calls for a dank, impenetrable refuge where people can hide from zombies and possibly a nuclear attack to wipe those zombies out, then, sure, the Curtis Building is the natural choice.

Lawletting & Miraculous Cures

2007-01-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

Classes start tomorrow and already the spring schedule has undergone a change. Gone is Trusts, which I had previously mentioned might be a problem. It was a blight on my Friday mornings anyhow, after a blank slate on Thursdays.

What's surprising is the course I've replaced it with - International Trade Law, only because I'm curious why I just didn't sign up for it originally. I racked my brain for some reason I hadn't - there are no exam conflicts, it works with my schedule, and I like the prof. I just hope come April I won't sound like Gob Bluth.

I'm back in Vancouver now. While I was at the airport (an hour delayed for an hour flight) I managed to finish one of my new books, Bloodletting & Miraculous Cures. I'm normally not a fan of Canadian fiction - I find the local street name-checking annoying, and I prefer to read about places I'd like to go to - but something about it I definitely enjoyed. Although, I do suspect it has something to do with the lack of new Grey's Anatomy episodes on TV lately (new this week!) - this book nicely closes the gap.

Bonne fete a moi

2007-01-04T08:07:00.000-08:00

25 today, so lawyer by 26. Not bad!

Taking bets on astronaut by 50.

Generations denied Wensleydale

2007-01-03T13:52:00.000-08:00

I don't normally post about legal news because there are so many sites that do it better, but a certain item showed up on IMDb News (a regular stop on my daily internet rounds) whilst I was searching for some Guillermo del Toro/Hellboy 2 news - and I actually knew something about it.

The legal item in question was that ads for cheese are the latest to have been banned from kids' programming in the U.K. A good part of my European Union Law essay was written on British television regulators (Ofcom) and their ban of junk food advertisements during children's programming. After reading Ofcom's lengthy report on how Brit kids are among the most rotund in the EU for my research, I can't say this new ban is such a bad idea.

However, I can't help but think that Wallace of the iconic Wallace & Gromit duo - famously "crackers for cheese" - will be crushed.

The Strange Case of Jekyll v. Hyde

2007-01-02T21:56:00.000-08:00

About this time of year (see 2006, 2005) I write up a list of ought-to's: a less onerous list of resolutions that both relieves me of guilt should I fail to accomplish them and which is a list that, by virtue of its clever name, must expire upon 2010, when the decade of aught's is over. (I maintain a steadfast resolution to employ puns at every turn.)

Surprisingly, my goal of working out more last year had some legs, as I began to run during the summer. I didn't like it very much, and I avoided running in the rain which, in Vancouver, is like avoiding salt in the Pacific - but the fact is I actually raised my heart rate beyond the level it peaks at during April finals.

But I suppose that ought-to came about from a need to fill a lot of spare time - a natural (and let's face it, not altogether unsavoury) by-product of upper-year law school. This year, things change: I enter the working world, where filling spare time is not going to be the issue - unless I've heard wrong all these years, and lawyers are actually renowned for their short working hours...

My fear isn't the schedule - I really have no issue with putting in long hours for a job I believe in - but only that in doing so I might transform into some hideous malcontent that no one wants to talk to. Like Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde, or if you will - Dr. Jekyll into JekyLL.B.

So in that respect, I ought to retain my sense of humour and priority when I bridge that chasm from law student to articled student, a sort of leap from carefree idealism to indentured servitude. In short, I'm looking to continue being myself into next year and beyond. I'd like to be sought after for my musical advice as much as my legal advice. FYI, this new Damon Albarn side project, The Good, The Bad & The Queen gets my thumbs up.

Of course, I'm actually not too worried about this transformation, as almost all of the lawyers I've met in Vancouver so far have been exceptional people. In effect, I've given myself a new year's resolution to make absolutely no changes. I'm OK with this.

Off-topic sentences

2007-01-02T14:49:00.000-08:00

Each time I'm home for the holidays, I have to spend time going through old things and discarding what I no longer need or that which takes up too much space. This time I came across my collection of undergrad essays, from English, Economics and Spanish Literature.

Man, I hope my law school essays don't sound like these. I've reprinted the worst of the first sentences I found, and editorialized with what a professor was likely thinking:

"The eponymous hero of Beowulf is more than simply a good warrior." Take out 'eponymous' and you've got nothing.

"To answer the question of whether or not British industrialization would have floundered without colonial possessions at the end of the eighteenth century, we need to consider its full implications." Um, duh?

"Interestingly, the investigation of certain theatrical motivations of playwright Ben Jonson begins with a discussion about economics." The first word must be a typo.

"In both Carlyle’s Sartor Resartus and Brontë’s Wuthering Heights, a multilayered narrative structure is implemented to bring a desired order to complex events." Zzzzzzzzz.

"El carácter mayor de La Casa de Bernarda Alba es muy desilusionado." (Trust me, this observation, though lovely sounding, is obvious and pedestrian.)

"Ostensibly, a king, a prince, a lover and a monster have little in common." Actually, I think I need to hear this one out.

Poke out my CSI

2007-01-01T11:07:00.000-08:00

A happy 2007 to everyone out there, but already my year is off to a troublesome start. Let me explain in my typically long-winded way:

A few years ago on New Year's Day I was prone on the couch, watching TV, when I quickly found out I was in the midst of one of those Bermuda Triangles of television: a Law & Order Marathon. I was just finishing up a third episode in a row when I made the call, perhaps in light of more moderate resolutions that year, to watch just one more episode. Little did I know that I was only halfway through my marathon that day.

It turns out that a few years after the O.J. Simpson case, with its own twists and turns, the creators of Law & Order, as they are wont to do, obviously commissioned a plot based on that reality. But just as the real O.J. trial dragged on, so did this Faux-J. episode, in the form of three, back-to-back-to-back continuations. The episode is entitled, "Showtime." When I resolved to watch a fourth and final hour, I had no idea that the Order part of the series would last a whole episode, and that the Law part went on for another two. I spent more time watching the show that day than I have classes in some weeks.

Although I wouldn't put it up there with my proudest achievements, watching 6 hours of that show was pretty awesome - and made me eager to consult A&E's schedule for another such marathon this year. But, horror of horrors, the Law & Order Marathon is nowhere in sight. What is worse: it's been replaced by a CSI: Miami marathon.

Longtime readers are likely aware of my patent disgust with the CSI shows. Indeed, I think 25 million people a week are wrong. I think the show is needlessly dazzling, pithy, Fincher-esque and wraps up too nicely - the law is none of these things. It's easy to argue that shows are meant to be entertaining, but let's be honest, justice should not be entertaining, it should be just. The true thrills to be derived from the law are, in my experience, all intellectual. When lawyers come up with a creative method of closing the case on an accused criminal, it's not done out of smug satisfaction as that show would have you believe - it's simply because that's the way we are taught to do things in law school, to think laterally. Law & Order gets this.

In fact, some of my favorite moments from recent Law & Order episodes have been subtle jabs at how CSI lets its fingerprint-dusters do everything short of hanging the perp. Just before he died, Jerry Orbach's Lenny Briscoe character famously told off such an investigator for trying to solve a case on the spot - and then made the guy go get him a coffee. And say what you will about Lenny, at least he's not named Horatio.

Anyway, I guess my point in all of this is that I'm disappointed I can't watch 7 hours of continuous television.

Update: A History Channel miracle - a Band of Brothers marathon.

Hallowed or Gallowed

2006-12-28T16:06:00.000-08:00

I've recently been looking into my family's genealogy. We've traced our family back to Scotland and England so far, but past that it's a matter of speculation. However, I've come across two individuals that, by virtue of their name - John Austin (also my Grandfather's name) - must be considered possible relatives.

The significance of these two individuals is that, while I am the only one in my immediate family who chose to go into the legal profession, there may be some historical precedence for my decision. And, of course, in the Common Law, precedence is everything.

The first man is John Austin, a famous jurist. He developed theories on legal positivism and had an extensive impact on jurisprudence throughout Great Britain. If he proves a relative: mega bonus. This little fact added on to any law school essay might just make my ramblings a little more impressive, or impossible to ignore.

The second man is John Austin, a common thief, famous for being the last man hanged at the gallows at Tyburn, London. If he proves a relative: awkward. Suddenly my reputation at law school for handing down the heaviest punishments on Criminal Law exams becomes even more cruel.

The final five

2006-12-26T09:22:00.000-08:00

It's a good time of year to appraise the classes for the upcoming and - say it with me - final term of law school. I've got five classes and four written exams, which, after the relative breeze that two written finals was this last month - might come back to haunt me. (As the Bogeylawyer, maybe?)

Here's the list:

Real Estate Transactions: this is a course I wouldn't lose sleep over not taking, (there's plenty of sleep to lose in law school anyhow). But, I enjoyed Land Use Planning immensely, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy a lot of the byzantine mess that is Property Law. Also, I now live in Vancouver: I've come to learn that I will likely be engaged in no less than a dozen condo transactions and hoard apartment units as if they were rare Hot Chip b-sides. Knowing a bit of the fine print on all those lease agreements might not be a bad idea.

Civil Procedure: I've had mixed results with "Procedure" courses in the past. Advanced Criminal Procedure is, without a doubt, the easiest course you can take in law school, and yet it's probably going to go down as the worst exam I wrote in the three years. I even had a professor that faintly resembled - in looks only - Arrested Development's Barry Zuckerkorn, which makes my poor performance even that more annoying. Here's hoping Civil Procedure will be a bit more ~~civil~~ friendly.

Administrative Law: without a doubt, this class gets the worst buzz amongst students at law school. The reviews range from boring, demanding, difficult to study for and the best reason to become a doctor. However, most will admit that the course is sorta necessary. Court cases often begin in the less glitzy realm of tribunals, after all. I'm not holding my breath for any magic to happen, but since I'm intent on getting a comprehensive legal education, I'm willing to bite the bullet. And they say lawyers will weasel out of any unpleasant situation.

Entertainment Law: devotees of this site may recall that I possess various screenplays and teleplays in various stages of completion. I haven't written about them on this site for a long time, because a) it was probably foolish to expect I could accomplish so much writing when there is so much reading to be done in law school and b) I think any scripts about the "legal experience" might benefit from actual experience. (That's just a hunch). If nothing else, I look forward to this class for any help with how to land a script deal.

Trusts: I can stand being angered by Admin law, but this class runs a high risk of just plain boring me. When people ask what classes I'm taking this term, this is the class I can never remember. In fact, when I mention it, first they are appalled I'd take over four classes in the final term and second, it provokes zero response. As far as I know, trusts are responsible for creating trust-fund babies, a notoriously unpleasant strata of society. But, like any jury, I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt and pronounce it my Wild Card Class. I've been pleasantly surprised with courses like Secured Transactions in the past, so it's all I can hope for. Then again, it's the only class I have on a Friday morning - never a good sign for longevity.

I'm typing like Roberto Benigni

2006-12-25T15:12:00.000-08:00

This is like finding extra stuff in a Christmas stocking: my blog was voted "Best Lawblog by a Law Student" according to Blawg Review and their annual awards. That's, like, the Oscars for law blogs.

Thanks to all my readers, including the one, according to my tracker stats, that Googled "crushing law school debt" and zeroed in upon this site.

Three hour holiday more likely

2006-12-23T17:15:00.000-08:00

Another great Christmas in the books. I've had such a good time, but I can't help but think that next year, when I've begun work at "the firm," a three-week holiday won't be as likely.

I didn't actually get one of these, and perhaps my final term at law school will thank Santa for that. This PS3 system was actually on loan from a friend of my brother. The kicker was that it came with no games, and renting them is a bit of an impossibility, so for a while it felt like having the goose that lays golden eggs, only to find it is infertile, or worse - a gander.

As for actual Christmas haul, amongst a lot of great stuff I got Jeff Tweedy's solo album/DVD, one of my favorite/the funniest performers. I particularly like his tour footage of the Pacific Northwest. I skipped ahead to the San Fran portion of the disc, as I'm tenatively planning a trip to that city in April. Any super sleuths know where this donut shop is in town?

The rest of the holidays have been nice and relaxing so far. (Still two weeks to go!) Of course, this being Calgary, I've also spent a lot of time on the roads. We made the traditional stop at Peter's Drive In, (best milkshakes in town) and I also got a peek at the city's brand new courthouse. 24 storeys and 73 courtrooms of cowboy justice.

On the rare occasions the TV is on, I think it's one of the great inventions of our modern age that fire has its own channel. At least during the holidays. Of course, like any programming, it needs to be entertaining to capture one's attention for any length of time. This mysterious hand stoking the fire provides for such a highlight.

Of course, I still have a birthday coming up in a matter of days, the big 25, or the age I find that a lot of my law school friends celebrated in undergrad.

Xmas o menos

2006-12-19T20:24:00.000-08:00

Ahh the holidays. I don't wear a watch, and since I haven't fired up the out-of-province cell phone since I arrived in Calgary, I have no quick way to tell the time: this is wonderful. Things I've been up to:

Pops and I caught Apocalypto. It's a great movie for history buffs (particularly the Guns, Germs & Steel-loving crowd) as well as connoisseurs of unrepentant gore. Thankfully, raised on a steady diet of zombie movies, I am unmoved by such things. Seriously though, the whole last hour of this film deserves a spot on my year-end list.

Carcassonne is quickly getting out of hand. Brother A bought the elaborate deluxe set, meaning a game can easily last several hours. Of course, the fun of it all causes Brother B to buy his own set - the combination of which might just put off a second term of law school. If I didn't know better, I'd think they were trying to set some sort of Carcassonne World Record...

I'm rereading Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. This is really one of the best books ever and should be read by everyone - twice. Just sayin'.

Holiday shopping: the malls in Calgary are, I suspect like everywhere else, a mess. However, I would venture to guess our parking lots are worse than normal, as every second driver in the city owns an oversized truck. The frontier days ended long ago people, there is nothing that needs that much hauling.

Because Brothers A and B are at work during the days, I brought out another excellent Christmas solitary pastime, the puzzle.

A 1000 piecer of the La Scala Theatre is all fine and challenging, but the end result will never be as awesome as the best puzzle we ever had (and somehow lost): The Bombardment of Algiers.

To make my return to town all the more Christmas-y, my parents put some eggnog in the fridge. Although, after I saw last week's Office, I'm mildly curious about a new drink, three parts eggnog, one part sake - the Nogasake.

IMHO 2006

2006-12-15T12:34:00.000-08:00

I was going to compile my annual list of favourite moments in TV/Books/Film/Music when I got back to Calgary, but I've been warned I'm booked for many a game of Carcassonne, so here it is now. (Previously, Parts I and II.)

Television

I haven't written about The O.C. for a long time because season 3 was (sorry H) the worst load of continuing garbage since I can't recall when. Then suddenly, season 4 got all awesome again, thanks in no small part to every moment Taylor Townsend was on screen.

Another show that got better in its latest season was Ricky Gervais' Extras. It had better guest stars, notably Sir Ian McKellen with his acting acumen and Daniel Radcliffe calling for his mom, but special mention goes to Stephen Merchant as Talent Agent Darren Lamb and all of his romantic exploits. If there's a better wingman than Barry from Eastenders I haven't seen him.

Prison Mike.

I really got into Lost and Deadwood this year, but more special than any particular moment was immersing myself in them with the DVD's - these are two series that really benefit from back-to-back-to-back-ad-infinitum viewing. Also, from Lost, I now want this set of Dharma Initiative Notebooks, and from Deadwood, I want Al Swearengen's tolerance for whisky.

Film

The sublime nerdiness of Superman Returns and Scoop's character's alter egos - Clark Kent and Sondra Pransky (both ace reporters) - was pitch perfect.

I laughed out loud when Jason Scwhartzman giggled during the most awkward marriage consummation ever in the underrated/overhated Marie Antoinette.

The Proposition was one of my favorite films of the year, but what impressed me the most was when I showed up to a screening expecting a handful of people interested in some indie cinema - and instead met a crowded theatre. This is yet another reason why I like Vancouver. You'd never see that turnout in Calgary (notwithstanding the fact it was an ultraviolent Western).

Books

Speaking of ultraviolent Western's of the "neo-" variety, No Country For Old Men was my fave read of the year. I particularly liked the Cormac McCarthy reading bender that it inspired, finishing 6 of his books.

A close second was Scott Smith's The Ruins. It's hard to separate a best moment, namely because Smith purposefully avoids any chapter breaks - part of the reason why it's one of the freakiest books out there and the best reason to not go camping in Mexico.

Douglas Coupland published JPod this year, a hilarious book on videogames and Vancouver specifically. A lot of people find him uncool (especially here in town, which upsets me, because I'd expect that kind of local backlash from Torontonians), but damned if his grasp on how the internet really affects us isn't the most accurate yet.

Music

Ryan Adams didn't release anything this year, so the music list is notably shorter. That said, I really got into Hot Chip this year. In particular, I liked the song "The Girl in Me," for how it typifies the band's 80's sound. The first thirty seconds sound like the score to Blade Runner, and then the rest sounds like a 1980's-era Rolling Stones slow jam.

Beck gave us the best reason to still buy physical albums - stickers! Oh and the CD is pretty damn awesome as well.

I almost forgot Neko Case. This singer and her latest album, Fox Confessor Brings the Flood, absolutely dominated my iTunes play count this year. In these days of the internet and impulse downloads, any musical discovery has a good chance of hitting the trash after a few spins. I'm positive Neko will be around well into the days when 20 gigabyte iPods are pennies a glass.

Live free or blog hard

2006-12-14T15:03:00.000-08:00

The new Die Hard trailer is out. Frankly I was fine with the first three, as the third seemed to buck the trend of the last being worst. Perhaps this movie has only become possible in light of the critical reception of 24, which seems to suggest that audiences aren't bothered by the minute probability that one man can be hounded by terrorists so many damn times.

If the movie seems to do stuff wrong, like casting Mac as John McClane's sidekick, it most certainly does things right. Just as Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade gave us a Tank vs. Horse, Live Free or Die Hard gives us Car vs. Helicopter.

Hint: he doesn't drive a deductimobile

2006-12-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

Some reflections on this penultimate law school semester: (see Parts I, II, III, IV.)

1. How I ever managed to study for more than two written finals I do not know.
2. Being on the cover of a magazine displayed prominently at your school will garner you little recognition; playing the spoons - much more so.
3. When you are studying/writing an essay at your local Starbucks, be considerate: a grande Americano buys you an hour and a half of precious seating time, a pain du chocolat gets you another half hour, but those free samples of Pumpkin Spice latte count for nada.
4. Though her name now escapes me, whoever it was I met at a party this last summer that recommended I take Appellate Advocacy, I owe you a drink.
5. It took me five semesters to bring my own notes into an exam with the intention of actually using them - and it paid off handsomely. (If item #5 goes missing off this list after I get my Conflicts mark, you'll know why.)
6. I was hoping I'd get to write something about hosting a radio show this semester, unfortunately, that'll have to wait until one more list.
7. It may sound like a downside to have a law school of nearly 600 students, but the upside is with each new class you're continually meeting new people who've occupied the same space with you over two years.
8. Having a job lined up for 13 months in the future is not a bad way of dealing with stress. Might've been nice to have this in undergrad.
9. I look forward to next term's Tax class, not because I'm in it - in fact, I've taken it - but because the fact patterns I wrote this summer as practice examples for the class will finally be put to use. Everyone, do Bruce Wayne's taxes.
10. With only one term to go, I still have yet to meet someone at school who wrote the LSAT twice like I did. You must be out there. Please.

"You save: $5,3624.34 (40%)"

2006-12-07T14:53:00.000-08:00

I think I've been modest with the few Christmas gift wishes I have this year. I've given up any idea of nabbing a Playstation 3 any time soon (my legal career can thank me for this). I do like books, however, because I rarely, if ever, regret amassing them like CD's.

Then I saw a certain holiday offer from Amazon.com in my inbox. (I get email offers like these after the American Amazon store came in handy for me when I needed help tracking down my uber-expensive-in-Canada Criterion Rushmore and The Third Man DVD's.)

For the megalomanical, completist booklover: The Penguin Classics Complete Library Collection. It's hard to believe that anyone would pay $8,000 for over 1,000 books, most of which are probably very dull.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish reading for my final year of law school.

24 down, 6 to go

2006-12-06T13:16:00.000-08:00

This time of year I always like to chart my progress through exams with an apt filmic comparison. Typically I have four or five to write, and about midway it's common to feel bleak about the prospects. But I find if you make tenuous connections between your life and Hollywood screenplays, you can at least hope that yours will turn out as happily as theirs.

Two years ago I used Lord of the Rings, in April '05 the Die Hard Trilogy, then plotted last December's finals using the many moods of Jack Bauer, and last April I resorted to the Man with No Name Trilogy.

I had a mind to use the best miniseries ever, Band of Brothers, as a guide this time around, because I recalled the funny scene where Ron Livingston (best actor ever?) is awoken with what his corporal thinks is lemonade, but turns out to be something else. I thought the moment might dovetail nicely with the unpleasant experience that was the Securities exam. However, I'm reminded that perhaps these exams really aren't as bad as war, so maybe a better comparison is in order.

So really I'm left with that old chestnut, Harry Potter. They're four films into the series, I'm four exams into it. If the underwhelming source material is any indication, the upcoming Order of the Phoenix stands to be the worst film of the series, and my Conflicts exam might just be the same.

No cramming with cadavers

2006-12-03T10:54:00.000-08:00

Exam season starts tomorrow, so it's time to wish good luck to all those law students suffering through the holiday season. Just remember, if we had chosen to become doctors, this whole process would be a lot messier.

I'm pretty lucky this year in that three of my classes are paper or factum-based, and (insert chagrin here) I've completed those. I just printed off my Land Use/Earthquake paper yesterday with the title "Drawing the Fault Line," continuing my grand tradition of 10 years of pun-based essay titles.

You may say it betrays the sincere tone of William Blake's famous poem on child-labour misery, "The Chimney Sweeper," to call an essay "A Bitter Sweep Story." I think denizens of the industrial revolution could have stood to lighten up.

Sadly I did not spy goldfish

2006-12-02T09:34:00.000-08:00

Going home for the holidays is great, but I find passing time in the pre-Santa days are harder. After the 25th you have gifts to divert your attention. It's the reason I posed the great Playstation NHL challenge to my brothers last year - that kind of thing takes time and effort.

I had an idea about a diversion for this year when I read about a board game Carcassone. I played Risk for the first time this summer and enjoyed it, I knew how heated things get on the rare occasions my family sits down for some Monopoly, and I like all things French, so this new game seemed full of promise.

In fact, the first time I heard about Carcassonne was when my roommate from England and I were planning a European trip for April 2003. While in the end we managed to cover 18 Spanish cities in 22 days, the original itinerary included a stop in a French village called Carcassonne, renowned for its incredible castle.

The roommate liked castles because he was a history buff; I liked them because I had always been partial to the medieval-themed Far Side cartoons (Western-themed Larson panels being my favourite). (It's also worth noting in parentheses that I had a kickass blog for the four months I spent in England, only to have it ingloriously deleted by my brother.)

So it's nice to know that while I may not soon get the chance to visit the actual Carcassonne castle, (the above picture is in Segovia, Spain) there'll be plenty of chances to play it over the holidays. No doubt my brother will leave a comment describing just how excited he is at the opportunity.

Vaya con dios, valuation of securities

2006-12-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

Classes are over and I celebrated by throwing out notes - not the most recent ones, but stacks of previous year's cases taking up precious storage space. Take a hike, Torts. Show's over, Secured Transactions.

While going through those notes, I came across the very first assignment I had in law school. It was a group assignment for a Law & Literature class, possibly two very good reasons why I despise group work and arbitrary groupings of diverse disciplines.

Anyway, we got 68%, an inauspicious start to any brilliant legal career, but what's more annoying is a specific written comment accounting for the low mark. After we wrote that asking people to disclose any 'cognitive enhancements' (don't ask) before entering into a contract was unreasonable, we got this comment - one that, if corrected, would have resulted in a higher mark, but also the solution to 99% of common law judicial headaches:

"You need to define 'reasonable.'"

It's a shame we ran out of space, because we were just about to outline our infallible theory of prison reform.

Up, Up and Advocate!

2006-11-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

Something struck me tonight (aside from the feeling I should be studying) as I was watching Superman Returns, one of my favourite movies of this last year, and reflecting on my trip to campus today.

Is it me, or does the Curtis Building have something in common with the Kryptonite-laced supercontinent borne of Lex Luthor's greed?

I have noticed a decrease in power and will as I enter the building sometimes...

Pity post

2006-11-28T16:11:00.000-08:00

OK everyone, time to send your sympathies, now that Vancouver is enduring an actual snowstorm and the snow isn't melting by the next day. No? Not even empathy? Well I took pictures anyway just for proof:

Trees from UBC campus/a Bob Ross painting.

I'd normally make some joke here that the ambient temperature had finally dropped low enough to match the temperature within the Law building, only that really happened. For some reason the asbestos just didn't keep in the heat today and classes were taught by be-parka-fied professors.

(Now c'mon, that law building deserves some sympathy.)

Consider this my "Blog House"

2006-11-26T14:42:00.000-08:00

Two years ago this weekend I began this blog. In the intervening time, I've written over 250 posts, and at an average of 250 words per, that's over 62,500 words. (Still 300,000 words short of the lawyer-themed and longest Charles Dickens novel, Bleak House.)

But like the unfortunate victims of the depressingly high infant mortality rates that characterized Dickens' London, this blog will not live to see the age of 3: I've made the decision to wrap up this site in April, after my third year of law.

Looking around at the current selection of Canadian lawblogs is rather bleak itself: what once was a verdant field of bright-eyed opinion has now become a wasteland of lazy dereliction. Check out the index of Canadian sites on the Queen's Law blog (one of the best still around) and you'll find that many of these sites are either dead or dying.

We law students recognize that we occupy a niche of society that many people never see: lawyers before they become lawyers. I think blogging about it is actually sort of a privilege. It's sort of like the time during the massive delay in the Star Wars prequels, where you witness Anakin Skywalker's (viz. undergrad's) transformation to Darth Vader (viz. defence lawyer.) Also: kiss these nerdy metaphors goodbye.

Unfortunately, many of these law bloggers gave up midway through, or this new medium lost a bit of its lustre. I'm proud that this thing has lasted as long as it has. But I like this blog too much to have it wither and die. So instead, I'm setting it an execution date.

If I do any future writing, it'll be elsewhere, maybe not even on the internet, and hopefully I'll get paid for it. I also won't delete this site, but leave it for future generations to wonder how I found the time to do any law school work at all.

What does this mean in the meantime? Not much. In the coming months you'll get my final installment of my favourite annual idiosyncrasies, the conclusion to my Constitutional Poetry trilogy, and - thank God - the last of my pronouncements that I look like Michael Stipe. There's also a good chance I'll forget about everything I've just typed and keep blogging into perpetuity.

But hopefully not, and hopefully this blog will have served its main function: to chronicle my three years at law school so that my future self can look back on it. In fact, if you're not Future Ryan, you shouldn't even be here.

Thaw-water order also in effect

2006-11-25T17:59:00.000-08:00

Here I am writing an essay that involves a European dispute about garbage, the treatment of television within the European Union as garbage, and then I go out to pick up dinner and I see this garbage:

Snow! I'm all for seasonal weather that reminds you of Christmas, but that's for when I go back home to Calgary where the stuff is available 9 months a year, not in Vancouver. I can't imagine this helps end the boil-water order we're still under.

This totally takes the fun out of a Thai food run.

Actual, original content

2006-11-23T23:02:00.000-08:00

Technophile that he is, law school chum Thom managed to record our winning Guile Moot argument last week - the famed Mac vs. PC fight - and here it is in video form.

In keeping with everything on YouTube, the video and audio quality are awful. I'll let you be the judge of comedy quality. Also, it's readily apparent from the mini-interview which precedes the clip that I was nervous as hell before the performance.

Update: Law school papparazza Kasia has photos of the whole event here.

Do as the bloggers do

2006-11-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

I'm finally making progress on this European Union law paper, meaning this post is terribly ill-advised. In any case, I think I've got a good topic: the current trend in EU television regulation to ban "unhealthy" programs and advertisements, and the inherent conflict with the principle of free movement of goods.

The highlight of my research so far has been reading about the worst fear of European regulators: America and it's "culturally inferior programming." One writer describes a particular horror during the late 1980's, when the Cosby Show was the top rated sitcom in France and Germany.

I've seen this firsthand. When in Rome during my grade 12 class trip, I made a stop at a tiny cafe. (Unremarkable so far, except that I did legitimately work the phrase "when in Rome" into my blog). Anyway, in the corner of this cafe was a television playing the Cosby Show. It was all translated, including the title graphics, but I was surprised to see the name of the show had also been changed. It's new name confused me: I Robinson.

Now at the time, I thought this was strange: were Italian broadcasters channeling Asimov with that name? Was the Cosby show somehow existential in a way I hadn't noticed before?

Mystery solved. It hasn't been until right now, doing this essay that I recalled this memory and put my years of learning Italian in the intervening years to use. The word "I" is actually the Italian plural for "The." So in effect, the show wasn't the Huxtables' take on I, Robot after all, but simply, "The Robinsons."

Finding that out is actually kinda disappointing.

Muggles, Lawgles, same difference

2006-11-20T12:26:00.000-08:00

The trailer for the newest Harry Potter flick is out. With each new film/book, I find myself having to justify my admiration for this franchise. You may question a law student's love for H.Po, but I find the connection all too relevant. To wit:

Ways in which law school is exactly like the Harry Potter novels:

The academic use of robes.
Lords, be they Denning or Voldemort (both best unnamed).
Spells: what are laws but a less flashy form of magic anyway? The average citizen doesn't know them, and used correctly, they make for great shortcuts: Harry cries immobilus! I say injunction.
Ancient institutions: Hogwarts' baroque history and architecture, The Curtis Building's outdated compliance with building codes and asbestos regulation.
Separation by groups: the law school's Bane group obviously equivalent to the superior Gryffindor.
Sports with tenuous connections to reality and flagrant disregard for rules: on the one hand Quidditch, on the other, the Law School Circus hockey team.
The perennial fear that at least one professor will put your life in mortal danger.

Ways in which law school is unlike the Harry Potter novels:

The actual study and performance of magic.
The smouldering lust between Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.
Regrettably, the utter absence of Alan Rickman.
etc.

Or Bereft of bouzouki

2006-11-19T14:29:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd get to write something today about going to the Decemberists' sold out show last night at the Commodore. The band has been playing some legendary shows recently, and I've always wanted to see live a band that plays the accordion, the hurdy-gurdy and the bouzouki.

Alas, I arrived to some sign posted on the door saying the band was suffering from an "illness," and the tickets I've been holding for two months will have to wait another month to be used. Knowing the Decemberists, it was probably one of the more literate illnesses, like cholera or a 15th century strain of the plague.

In lieu of the concert, we made a stop at HMV downtown to finally buy their latest album (my favorite of this last year), and had an impropmtu concert in the car driving through downtown. Since I had my camera for the concert, I didn't want to waste it, so here's some random shot from the drive, although it's decidedly hurdy-gurdy-less.

(Not pictured: The Decemberists.)

Mac v. PC, awaiting appeal

2006-11-18T10:49:00.000-08:00

Although we can't drink the water here in Vancouver on account of sedimentation and turbidity, I have tasted victory, and its fructose particle count is remarkably high, which is to say - it is sweet.

Yesterday was the annual Guile Moot tryouts, where the law school is turned into a comedy club with an audience who seem to be perpetually recovering from a Kenny Banya act. The goal is to be the funniest to argue on a given resolution, in this case "be it resolved that no man should be his own judge."

Fellow "king of the dorks" Thom and I did a team act where things got ever dorkier, as we presented the debate as a commercial with Mac and PC. After a heated debate where it was revealed, amongst other things, that "PC slept with Mac's wife!" we were crowned among the four winners, with finals taking place in January.

Two things I liked about this moot: first, getting to portray the PC/John Hodgman role. I recently finished his book, The Areas of My Expertise, which will be one of the funniest books you read. Second, we're always told in law school that being funny is the biggest sin in a courtroom. It's nice to know that if you're going to be in contempt of court, you'll be the most contemptible.

Prochaine: Jacques Bauer en Vingt-Quatre!

2006-11-14T19:57:00.000-08:00

We've now moved on from the seismic deathtraps of Western North America to the lush vineyards and ancient castles of Europe. That's right: I've finished one essay and now am into my European Union law paper.

I've settled on a topic that is near and dear to my heart, TV. Specifically, I know it's always a big headache up here in Canada to have a certain quota of Canadian content on TV (made harder by the fact that original programming is so awful it needs to be replaced annually.) So I wanted to look into how the EU deals with protecting member states' cultural qualities, while respecting the free movement of goods and services, i.e. TV. Bien, n'est-ce pas?

I'm also hoping to answer several pressing questions: does 24 operate on the 24 hour clock over there? What region is the European equivalent of The OC? (My money's on Le Aix). And does the prevalence of civil law deny Sam Waterston the stardom he so richly deserves?

Since doing several of these papers I've become better at the research side of things, but the benefit of doing this for European Union law is that the Union's website, Europa, is amazing. It is, hands down, the best governmental website around, cataloguing every case, directive, piece of legistlation and all in countless languages to boot - and most importantly, all easily found.

Really the only site that matches its depth is Ryan Adams' repository of eight new albums available for streaming.

I'll mess with Texas, thankyou

2006-11-11T14:19:00.000-08:00

The 'rents are in town meaning I get to play tour guide for a few days. I'm trying not to let the terrifying research I've gleaned from my Earthquake/Land Use paper colour the landmarks I point out, but it's hard:

"And here on the left is the tallest building in downtown Vancouver. Should the sway of the building in an earthquake exceed 6 meters, the jagged, falling shards of 80 storeys of glass will be the least of pedestrians' problems. On the right we have a Starbucks."

I also took some pictures that underscore what I'm talking about when I say parts of Vancouver could easily pass for NYC or London, specifically the meat packing district...

and a Dickensian workhouse.

Another notable stop on the weekend was breakfast at the Hotel Le Soleil. Add French Toast to the list of foods made better by an inspired use of the baguette. Ever since I had a hot dog in France made with this "wonder bread," if you will, I've been applying it to every possible meal I can. Oddly, the notion of making French toast with French bread never occurred to me before. Now I find the thought of using Texas toast downright insulting.

50% chance of "clogs"

2006-11-08T15:18:00.000-08:00

We're T-minus one month until the first exam, and T-plus two in terms of essays yet to finish. My current goal is to finish this Land Use paper, my terremoto thesis, by Thursday. Normally I'd follow up such a post on the weekend with startling news that the goal somehow didn't work out. But to my surprise, I seem to be on track.

I've discovered that the best place to write a 7,000 word paper is away from the keyboard. And the farther the better. As is often the case when you don't live at the school you attend, you have to walk between locations. It's on these walks where I've taken to writing an essay in my head, and rewriting it until I can remember it well enough to put it on paper. Why didn't I think of this before? Perhaps blogging on a regular basis for two years is part of it...

Of course, maybe it's something in the air. I've also taken to bringing my camera along with me, and I snapped this weathern pattern. I guess I like that the clouds can't decide if they're fog or not.

Let them eat blog

2006-11-05T22:04:00.000-08:00

Haven't written a post in French in a while, so I thought, why not procrastinate from law reading Parisian-style?

Je viens de voir le film Marie-Antoinette, finalement. Facilement, ça c'est un des meillures films d'annee. C'est un peu approprié que j'ecris cette blog en francais, parce que comme mes lecteurs, je pense que les critiques du film évidemment ne comprennent pas cette film. (Et pour mes lecteurs qui peuvent lire francais, vous pouvez corriger le mien.)

Comme Lost in Translation, c'est un film avec une belle locale, un acteur très drole, et il a une soundtrack merveilleuse. (Aussi, je viens de decouvrir qu'il'y a un Amazon pour la France!) Puis, c'est assez, parce que je n'ai pas pris une classe de francais depuis l'ecole secondaire et j'oublie la langue.

(And for those of you who don't speak French, I've given you the pleasure of knowing what it's like to study law at times.)

Jeremy's Iron

2006-11-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

With the submission of my factum and the argument of my appeal, one class is over for the term. More importantly, I'm four credits closer to putting three more letters after my name. I believe this and a certain Scrabble prowess is what truly makes someone a "man of letters."

Actually, this alphabetic aggrandizement may actually serve another interesting, if entirely irrelevant purpose. There's a certain game where you attempt to rearrange the letters of a name or thing to come up with something that describes the individual or item. As it stands, my own anagram leaves something to be desired:

U stain yarn.

Now, far be it from me to denigrate the expert men and women who do such a thing for a living, but I had always hoped for something a bit more laudatory, or at least more apt.

But if we add LL.B and BA.H to the mix, well maybe the results would be a bit better. Not that I have time to figure out such permutations, I still have four classes left this term. Anyone else have interesting anagrams?

Karma Barristers

2006-11-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

I was going to write a post about how, while putting the finishing touches on my factum for my big moot appeals trial tomorrow (wish me luck!) I caught a particularly legal lyric through my headphones:

"deny all knowlege / paragraph 5 / subsection B / the committee is content / to live in a rat's nest"

This comes from "A Rat's Nest" a new b-side from one of the best albums of this year, Thom Yorke's The Eraser. It is, of course, typical Yorke - see his "Bedtime Stories."

I wasn't sure what the legislative citation was in reference to, but since I was momentarily amused at the idea that maybe rock legends consult LexisNexis as well, I was curious...

...then I read a Radiohead message board, and suddenly became worried that these rabid fans, in efforts to satisfy their own curiousity, had done way more legal research than I had in preparation for my appeal.

So back to work.

Still waiting for pop-up torts

2006-10-31T10:03:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I had a book called Incredible Cross-Sections. (Which I've just now discovered is available in pop-up form...) The book took illustrations of cruise ships, castles, submarines and more and did to them the stuff of Ron Popeil's dreams.

I think the book was meant to appeal to the aspiring engineer in kids, but for those who dislike subliminal attempts to have you learn whilst having fun, the book had other rewards. Notably, in each cross-section there was always a bathroom with someone in it, and it was always rather amusing how the toilets of the era operated.

This is precisely why I find my current reading, Steven Johnson's book, The Ghost Map, so disgustingly fascinating. It's a book about the London Cholera outbreak of 1854, filled with facts and anecdotes about how the bustling city was a perfect breeding ground for disease and how the old British cure-all of running it under a cold tap (see 6th paragraph) was a disastrous failure.

But the more I read it, I realize Johnson's simply replicating the wonderment of my childhood, and taking a cross-section of London in the 19th century, dissecting each strata of society and focusing in on those "amusing bits." In one section, he relates the tragic drowning death of "Richard the Raker," who, rather unfortunately, was not raking leaves, but doing much the same work as the dude I've highlighted in the picture above.

I recommend the book, but note it was delayed in Canada for some reason until December. Meaning you either have to wait, order from the US as I did, or cross your fingers for what's certain to be an interesting pop-up version.

Anyway, I bring all of this up on my law blog because it's the only time where I've been reading a non-law book that might actually become a useful citation for a law paper - in this case my Land Use Planning paper on earthquakes. I'm making an argument that Vancouver's earthquake mitigation efforts are mostly directed for after a disaster. There's a considerable amount of planning that can go great lengths to mitigating, if at least not damage itself, plenty of litigation. Johnson's book advocates, amongst other things, recognizing the emergent crisis around you before it reaches its tipping point.

Maybe I'll cite the cross-sections book too, just for the hell of it. Did anyone else here have it?

More of a Haunted Run, really

2006-10-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

When I lived in Kingston, Ontario, I regretfully did not go on any of its "haunted walk" tours. I'm pretty certain that town has its fair share of gory lore, and I'm told that the ghost of John A. MacDonald still treads its street, pleading that the whole Constitution thing was really a joke.

So I made up for that missed opportunity tonight when I went on Vancouver's Haunted Tour of Gastown. With about twenty other people we got a tour of the section of town reputedly cursed by its ancient First Nations inhabitants when the land was unceremoniously taken away. This, I can confirm, meets the legal test for the imposition of a curse. (See Mummy v. Gravedigger et al.)

I found the tour interesting in part because I had never walked Gastown before, and that now I had a completely new reason to fear it. We learned about ghosts of every variety, from the headless to the feline. I particularly liked the trip down Blood Alley, despite an odour that would suggest it be renamed otherwise.

This is part of the reason I like Vancouver so much. There are countless areas of the city with a feel all their own. At any time you feel like you could be walking through New York, Toronto, Hong Kong, or, as it were, Whitechapel-area London/Silent Hill.

Mansbridge equally frightening to kids

2006-10-28T10:44:00.001-07:00

It's a law school Halloween party. You're looking for a costume that's both cumbersome and prohibitive to dance, yet uniquely self-referential and almost impossible to reproduce. May I suggest going as the cover of the September '06 National magazine with you on it?

I guess I felt my previous Halloween costumes were never meta enough. Of course, if you attend a party with a few non-law students, there are bound to be those who don't get it - although I'll never discourage queries as to whether I'm Peter Mansbridge.

Update: Party pictures courtesy of K.

You shall not pass dammit!

2006-10-25T22:42:00.000-07:00

I remember that it took about one month in Evidence class before the subject of My Cousin Vinny was academically discussed. So I'm a little surprised it took nearly two months of Securities Regulation before Martha Stewart's name came up. I wonder if these celebrities really understand that though their indiscretion's gleam may eventually fade in the tabloids, it shines ever brightly for law student reading. Just imagine how Family law will forever be shaped.

Sadly, no such stargazing is to be found in European Union law, the subject for which I still have to come up with a paper topic. Any ideas?

It probably doesn't help that I've been spending my time watching this new promo for 24 and pondering the question: Jack Bauer, Gandalf, same person?

Seriously, I need help with this EU paper.

Down the drain

2006-10-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

The Prestige, which I just saw, is a film that will be long talked about within the circles I travel. No, not for it's clever trickery or apt use of British rock legends, but for the fact that it ruined the longest running streak I had going.

17 years without having to use the bathroom in a film - gone. Not since the original Batman in 1989 had I left the theatre mid-movie. Back then, I missed a crucial scene. I was a bit more tactful this time, at least optioning a moment when both Scarlett and Bowie were offscreen.

But why now, after all these years? I'm inclined to blame the dentist. Yes, the dentist I visited months ago who accidentally overcharged my credit card, and then, in trying to correct it, overcharged the card again - the very dentist that in order to atone for any ill-will mailed me the very free movie coupons with free drink that caused this demise. He of all people should have known it was bad for me!

I guess I can't hold a grudge. What really bothers me is that being a superstitious individual, the fate of it wasn't tied up more nicely. No, it couldn't have been Christopher Nolan's superlative resurrection of Batman that burst the dam - which would have brought the streak full circle - but only the film he made after that with many the same actors.

Here's to the end of an era. Yet still, I feel relief. And thirst.

Cake, however, conspicuously absent

2006-10-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

My resolve to finish this factum by first light on Monday (deadlines are always sexier when they are made to first lights) is seriously being threatened by the beckoning of several movies released this weekend.

There's Marie-Antoinette, because I'm always up for a trip back to Versailles. I spent hours on the grounds back there in 2003, eventually finding myself at Marie's childhood snack bar where I got a pretty awesome ice cream bar. Oh and the architecture is cool too. (Versailles' edifice, of course, forming the title graphic for this blog.)

Then there's The Prestige. I already know how this one ends because, like any good law student, I did my reading a year ago. Nevertheless, I'm hoping some elements are changed and David Bowie as Nikola Tesla shouldn't be missed.

Finally there's the Clint Eastwood film, and I'm contractually obligated to see his films since his Unforgiven still ranks in my desert island top 5. Of course, what nobody's reporting is that Eastwood made two films during this time, the second a Japanese-language and Japanese-perspective film of the Battle of Iwo Jima, so I might just hold out for that one.

Which brings me back to factum work. I'm trying to convince myself that writing a factum maybe is like a movie, or isn't that far removed from screenwriting. (Work with me here.) It's a story based on true events, there's far too much money involved, characters are well-developed, and the bad guy gets it in the end.

You're right, that analogy doesn't work. Point-first writing makes for some anti-climactic storytelling - like listing "Starring Bruce Willis as the Ghost" in the opening credit reel.

And I just want some popcorn. I bet the Versailles snack shack would have some.

CBC'n is believin'

2006-10-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

Anecdote of note: while on a factum lunch break today, at a nearby Cafe Crepe, (unofficially a reason why I live in the neighbourhood I do) who should I run into but CBC news anchor extraordinaire Gloria Macarenko.

Both she and Ian "the Man" Hanomansing were mainstays of my work-from-home summer TV viewing schedule, so I find it particularly cool to run into one of them on a break from work. The unfortunate part is that I didn't recognize her until she spoke to me, at which point my to-go order was ready. Thus, my limited contribution to the conversation went something like:

"You. Are from TV. I watch."

In any case, the short conversation I had with her ups the ante on previous run-ins with celebrities, beating:

The passing nod I gave to CTV weather woman Tamara Taggart
The confused recognition on seeing either Tegan or Sara outside a Future Shop
The neck-craning to see Timothy Omundson on a downtown film set

And, one step closer to erasing the memory of seeing a desperately infirmed Nick Nolte in NYC.

Moby-Dick summations suffered somewhat

2006-10-17T11:36:00.000-07:00

I'm hard at work on the first factum I've written since first year law, those golden days when "Team Awesome" ruled the moot, the "definitive statement of might and fortitude in law school" as I described in it back in February of '05.

A few things have changed. It now appears that the definitive statement of law school might is not courtroom prowess, but a job offer (the thing you see law students clutching so tightly to their chests). I don't really buy that, so I'm trying to make sure this factum guarantees some promise of legalistic longevity.

I've been reading a lot of "how to write the best factum" material, which is sort of the antidote to what I had learned as an English major. Conscission is the new effusion. Judges like things short. And this is what I've decided: ironically, if you think back to your junior high school days, those kids that gave the worst book reports, i.e.

"Treasure Island is a book about an island of treasure"

...they'd probably rock the factum championships.